Drabble: Being Becker.
Mar. 8th, 2010 10:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silver_sunTitle: Being Becker.
Genre: Drabble fic of 10 connected drabbles.
Pairings: Becker/Wilder, Becker/Ryan
Rating: Drabbles vary between pg and 18
Word count: 1000 words, as 10 100 word drabbles.
Summary: A look at Becker's life from before he joined the army through to him working at the ARC.
A/N: Denial friendly.
Shadow.
Becker feels like he's been living in the shadow of giants all his life. Photographs and paintings of ancestors, all in military uniform line the walls of his father's study.
“You wished to speak to me.”
“I saw you with that boy again,” his father says sharply.
“Leo is eighteen, he's a friend.”
“I've told you before, I will not condone such deviant behaviour in my house.”
“Then it's as well I'm leaving for Sandhurst.” Becker manages to keep his tone neutral.
His father's eyes are cold and hard as he says, “Hopefully they will knock some sense into you.”
2. Hidden
Sandhurst is everything Becker had expected, yet his life is still nothing like he'd hoped.
There's a lot of rough housing and taking the piss out of each other, it's mostly good natured though, with nobody really being singled out. Despite this he can't bring himself to tell them.
He'd told himself that if he made friends with them first then it wouldn't matter to them when he comes out, only now he's made friends the fear of losing them over it means he says nothing.
They think he's too ambitious to find a girlfriend; he lets them think it.
3. Reason
Captain Wilder is hot and hard inside him, and Becker muffles his pleasured groans with the sleeve of his combat jacket.
He knows they should stop. Gay isn't the problem, an affair with your commanding officer definitely is. He can't even justify it as love; he knows he's not the only officer cadet Wilder is fucking.
Loneliness, stupidity or the fact that he's as pathetic as his father thinks he is, Becker isn't sure why he keeps coming back for more, just that he can't stop.
Wilder grips his hips tighter, pace increasing, and Becker smiles, glad to be wanted.
4. Dust
Afghanistan is too bloody hot, and sand and dust get into everything, despite that Lieutenant Becker is glad to be back on deployment.
Being back in England had been hell. The time spent with his family had been awkward, while meeting Leo for a drink had been a disaster, as Leo had brought his new boyfriend along.
Worst though had been the last day, his father asking him not to spend his leave there again, not until he started to act like a proper man.
The army is all he needs, Becker decides, love and family cause too much pain.
5. Unknown
Walking around the ARC with Lester, Becker can't help but feel his first post as captain is a sideways promotion. It makes him wonder what he's done wrong.
Lester's stories of dinosaurs, errant academics, national security and the need for a research facility to have two special forces units on standby seem preposterous: Until he sees the creatures for himself.
Later, as he watches Cutter and Stephen talking, their disregard for each others personal space making them seem like lovers rather than colleagues. Nobody seems to mind though, and Becker decides that working here could be just what he needs.
6. Lies
Becker leans his head against the wall, phone clutched in his hand. He's not going to cry, he's not. He can still hear fragments of his mother call. Your father. So unexpected. Heart attack. Funeral next Thursday.
“You alright?” Ryan walks up behind him.
“I'm fine.” It's reflex, too long of having hidden behind the mask of a perfect soldier.
“You're a piss poor liar. What is it?”
“My father's dead.” Becker's voice is blank and shocky, as he's unable to process what he's feeling.
“Fuck, I'm sorry mate.”
As Ryan puts an arm around him Becker start to shake.
7. Goodbye.
“I never wanted you to stay away,” Becker's mother says quietly, once the funeral is over. “But you know how your father was.”
Becker nods, exhausted. He hasn't slept well since getting the news, apart from the night Ryan had taken him to the pub and got him so pissed staying awake wasn't an option.
“It never mattered you being gay, not to me.” Her voice wavers. “I wish he could've understood that.”
So do I, Becker thinks sadly, convinced that he should have tried harder or done so sooner, because now there's no time left, not even for goodbyes.
8. Surprise
Becker lets nothing show on his face as Wilder tells him he's looking forward to them working together again, despite knowing exactly what he means.
He's not going to be just another convenient hole for Wilder to fuck. Not again. He's got some pride.
“There's rumours about him at Sandhurst,” Ryan says once Wilder has left.
“You know then,” Becker says dejectedly.
“About you?” Ryan smiles slowly, then answers his own question. “I had an inkling.”
“Is it going to be a problem?”
“I'd be a bloody hypocrite if it was.” Ryan walks away, leaving a surprised Becker behind him.
9. Trickery
Becker doubles over as Wilder's rifle butt hits him hard in the stomach. A second blow, this time to his side, takes him to his knees.
Christine tears the mircophone from his tac vest, crushing it under her shoe. “You really thought that would work?”
Becker just nods, buying time, knowing that Lester already has the recording, and that Ryan and his men will be returning soon.
“You're lying.” She nods to Wilder. “I don't like liars. Make him talk.”
Becker steels himself for another blow. The ARC is home, the people friends, and he'll do anything to protect them.
10. Heart
Needing to wash the grime of a nightmarish future and its creatures off his skin, Becker hits the showers.
He's standing under the hot spray, soap stinging cuts and bruises, when Ryan walks in. The sound startles him, and Becker turns fast, feet slipping on the wet tiles.
Ryan steadies him, a strong arm about his waist.
Wet, naked and pumped on adrenaline, Becker's heart beats faster, body reacting to Ryan's presence. He flushes, embarrassed; remembering his twisted relationship with Wilder.
“This can be more than fucking, if you want.”
“I want.” Becker kisses him, ready to take a chance.
Genre: Drabble fic of 10 connected drabbles.
Pairings: Becker/Wilder, Becker/Ryan
Rating: Drabbles vary between pg and 18
Word count: 1000 words, as 10 100 word drabbles.
Summary: A look at Becker's life from before he joined the army through to him working at the ARC.
A/N: Denial friendly.
Shadow.
Becker feels like he's been living in the shadow of giants all his life. Photographs and paintings of ancestors, all in military uniform line the walls of his father's study.
“You wished to speak to me.”
“I saw you with that boy again,” his father says sharply.
“Leo is eighteen, he's a friend.”
“I've told you before, I will not condone such deviant behaviour in my house.”
“Then it's as well I'm leaving for Sandhurst.” Becker manages to keep his tone neutral.
His father's eyes are cold and hard as he says, “Hopefully they will knock some sense into you.”
2. Hidden
Sandhurst is everything Becker had expected, yet his life is still nothing like he'd hoped.
There's a lot of rough housing and taking the piss out of each other, it's mostly good natured though, with nobody really being singled out. Despite this he can't bring himself to tell them.
He'd told himself that if he made friends with them first then it wouldn't matter to them when he comes out, only now he's made friends the fear of losing them over it means he says nothing.
They think he's too ambitious to find a girlfriend; he lets them think it.
3. Reason
Captain Wilder is hot and hard inside him, and Becker muffles his pleasured groans with the sleeve of his combat jacket.
He knows they should stop. Gay isn't the problem, an affair with your commanding officer definitely is. He can't even justify it as love; he knows he's not the only officer cadet Wilder is fucking.
Loneliness, stupidity or the fact that he's as pathetic as his father thinks he is, Becker isn't sure why he keeps coming back for more, just that he can't stop.
Wilder grips his hips tighter, pace increasing, and Becker smiles, glad to be wanted.
4. Dust
Afghanistan is too bloody hot, and sand and dust get into everything, despite that Lieutenant Becker is glad to be back on deployment.
Being back in England had been hell. The time spent with his family had been awkward, while meeting Leo for a drink had been a disaster, as Leo had brought his new boyfriend along.
Worst though had been the last day, his father asking him not to spend his leave there again, not until he started to act like a proper man.
The army is all he needs, Becker decides, love and family cause too much pain.
5. Unknown
Walking around the ARC with Lester, Becker can't help but feel his first post as captain is a sideways promotion. It makes him wonder what he's done wrong.
Lester's stories of dinosaurs, errant academics, national security and the need for a research facility to have two special forces units on standby seem preposterous: Until he sees the creatures for himself.
Later, as he watches Cutter and Stephen talking, their disregard for each others personal space making them seem like lovers rather than colleagues. Nobody seems to mind though, and Becker decides that working here could be just what he needs.
6. Lies
Becker leans his head against the wall, phone clutched in his hand. He's not going to cry, he's not. He can still hear fragments of his mother call. Your father. So unexpected. Heart attack. Funeral next Thursday.
“You alright?” Ryan walks up behind him.
“I'm fine.” It's reflex, too long of having hidden behind the mask of a perfect soldier.
“You're a piss poor liar. What is it?”
“My father's dead.” Becker's voice is blank and shocky, as he's unable to process what he's feeling.
“Fuck, I'm sorry mate.”
As Ryan puts an arm around him Becker start to shake.
7. Goodbye.
“I never wanted you to stay away,” Becker's mother says quietly, once the funeral is over. “But you know how your father was.”
Becker nods, exhausted. He hasn't slept well since getting the news, apart from the night Ryan had taken him to the pub and got him so pissed staying awake wasn't an option.
“It never mattered you being gay, not to me.” Her voice wavers. “I wish he could've understood that.”
So do I, Becker thinks sadly, convinced that he should have tried harder or done so sooner, because now there's no time left, not even for goodbyes.
8. Surprise
Becker lets nothing show on his face as Wilder tells him he's looking forward to them working together again, despite knowing exactly what he means.
He's not going to be just another convenient hole for Wilder to fuck. Not again. He's got some pride.
“There's rumours about him at Sandhurst,” Ryan says once Wilder has left.
“You know then,” Becker says dejectedly.
“About you?” Ryan smiles slowly, then answers his own question. “I had an inkling.”
“Is it going to be a problem?”
“I'd be a bloody hypocrite if it was.” Ryan walks away, leaving a surprised Becker behind him.
9. Trickery
Becker doubles over as Wilder's rifle butt hits him hard in the stomach. A second blow, this time to his side, takes him to his knees.
Christine tears the mircophone from his tac vest, crushing it under her shoe. “You really thought that would work?”
Becker just nods, buying time, knowing that Lester already has the recording, and that Ryan and his men will be returning soon.
“You're lying.” She nods to Wilder. “I don't like liars. Make him talk.”
Becker steels himself for another blow. The ARC is home, the people friends, and he'll do anything to protect them.
10. Heart
Needing to wash the grime of a nightmarish future and its creatures off his skin, Becker hits the showers.
He's standing under the hot spray, soap stinging cuts and bruises, when Ryan walks in. The sound startles him, and Becker turns fast, feet slipping on the wet tiles.
Ryan steadies him, a strong arm about his waist.
Wet, naked and pumped on adrenaline, Becker's heart beats faster, body reacting to Ryan's presence. He flushes, embarrassed; remembering his twisted relationship with Wilder.
“This can be more than fucking, if you want.”
“I want.” Becker kisses him, ready to take a chance.