...series of EXPERIMENT on him... - experiments, plural.
...some type of uniform he can't QUIET place... - quite.
...crushing him under IT'S weight... - its.
...and all he can get out IS choking SOBS... - 'are...sobs' or 'a sob'.
...as it forces IT'S way... under IT'S onslaught... - its.
...unable to BREATH... - breathe.
...and he's stood trembling... - I think this should be: 'and he's standing trembling'. As far as i know, only lamps, sofas etc. can be 'stood' somewhere, so unless you are referring to him being placed deliberately by someone else (which you might be?)
...Jack stumbles the few STEP... - steps, plural.
...just another of Saxon's MINDS games... - mind games.
...stifling sobs he's quite can't keep inside... - this sentence doesn't make sense to me. maybe: "Stifling sobs he can't quite keep inside"?
That's it, I guess. As I said, they're things that spell check doesn't pick up on.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2008-04-16 04:07 pm (UTC)...series of EXPERIMENT on him... - experiments, plural.
...some type of uniform he can't QUIET place... - quite.
...crushing him under IT'S weight... - its.
...and all he can get out IS choking SOBS... - 'are...sobs' or 'a sob'.
...as it forces IT'S way... under IT'S onslaught... - its.
...unable to BREATH... - breathe.
...and he's stood trembling... - I think this should be: 'and he's standing trembling'. As far as i know, only lamps, sofas etc. can be 'stood' somewhere, so unless you are referring to him being placed deliberately by someone else (which you might be?)
...Jack stumbles the few STEP... - steps, plural.
...just another of Saxon's MINDS games... - mind games.
...stifling sobs he's quite can't keep inside... - this sentence doesn't make sense to me. maybe: "Stifling sobs he can't quite keep inside"?
That's it, I guess. As I said, they're things that spell check doesn't pick up on.