not impressed at so much right now

[silver_sun]

Work sucks, I am so tired right now. I might be the only fully trained member of staff in for next week and a half So i'm in charge, sort of, not that anybody actually listens to me, it's not like i'm actually the deputy supervisor or anything, no i'm just the idiot who's been there longer than anybody else, who stays because they need me to help keep the place going, who stays out of some (probably missplaced) sense of loyalty.

I want a different job.  One where my supervisor doesn't introduce me to new staff as office furniture.

It's not going to happen though. I can't afford leave this stupid job.  My frequently unemployed other half means that I will probably never be able to afford what I want for me.  I gave up the work I loved so we could be together, so we could afford a house.

I shouldn't bitch, I know and I don't mean to sound like I don't appreciate him, I do I've been with him nearly eight years and I wouldn't trade him for anything. But I just feel sometimes that everything is passing me by because I always have to be responsible one, to pay the bills, sort out the mortgage, shop and cook and clean. 

Sorry this is so whiny, but it all just sucks and gets me down sometimes and I have no idea if it will ever get any better.

Comments

[whatwas.livejournal.com]

I know exactly how you feel.....as I was in a similar situation with my last job..... where I didn't really like working there and even though I wanted to leave, I had a f'ed up notion that if I did I was being disloyal or something like that...... and also because of the money issue, etc.

but now I'm at a new place, so hopefully things will turn around for you as well........

[silver_sun]

I hope so. I wish I could go back to the job I had before this one, I was a field archaeologist, but the contant working away from home wasn't fair on him and my knees still haven't forgiven three years on :)

Honestly I should probably get trained up in something useful, because general office dogsbody is so not what I spent four years at uni for. The biggest problem is that I have no idea what I want to do, beyond something that I know it's never going to be viable for me to go back to.

I'll figure it all out sometime I guess.