Fic: Lives Are For Living. (21/40)
Oct. 30th, 2013 12:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silver_sunTitle Lives Are For Living. (21/40)
Fandoms Torchwood/Being Human crossover fic.
Characters/pairings Andy Davidson/Tom McNair. Other Torchwood and Being Human characters will appear later on.
Word count: This part 3700 (Total posted 54,200 /90,000)
Rating This part pg (adult over all)
Contains Mentions of depression/anxiety. Mentions of past canon major character death. Mention of minor character death – not canon. In later parts canon level violence, graphic sex, Andy's homophobic mother. Spoilers for Being Human (UK version) up to series 5 episode 3, and for Torchwood up to Children of Earth.
A/N: Crossover with Being Human. Technically a CoE fix it as it's set in the same 'verse as Finding Ways To Smile Again (although that isn't apparent until about 2/3 the way through the story). Follows on from Break and Breakaway from Tom McNair's POV – which is where it breaks from Being Human canon.
Summary
After being pushed out of the police force following the events of Children of Earth, Andy Davidson tries to build a new life for himself in the deep in the Welsh countryside.
Tom McNair walked out off his old life after realising it wasn't what he needed.
A chance meeting would take their lives in directions that they had never expected and bring them love that they'd not thought they'd find.
Starts here: http://the-silver-sun.livejournal.com/214504.html
It had seemed like such a good idea back at the farmhouse. Just go into Cardiff have a wander round the shops, find something for Tom’s birthday and then meet up with Gwen for a coffee and a chat so he reassure her that he really was getting on alright now. But standing outside a cafe, waiting for Gwen, Andy could feel his heart start to beat faster. Cardiff’s main shopping area seemed too busy and too loud, people starting the pre-Christmas rush now that Halloween and Bonfire Night had been and gone.
He looked around, wondering if people were staring at him. He’d only be there a couple of minutes, but it felt like he’d been standing there all day. Every passing second was another opportunity for somebody he once knew to spot him, to come over to him and ask him questions he couldn’t answer. Or worse what if he saw one of his old colleagues out on patrol or DCI Blanchard?
Andy was just about to go inside to wait, hoping that if he got a coffee and sat in the corner nobody would randomly start talking to him or bothering him, when he saw Gwen pushing a buggy through the crowd towards him.
“Hello stranger,” she said reaching him, and then giving him a hug.
Surprised, Andy froze for a moment before returning it. “Stranger yourself. Never thought I'd see the day. Gwen Cooper, mummy.”
Gwen laughed. “I never did either. It was always Rhys that was the family one.” She smiled and looked at Ceri who was chewing on the ear of a toy rabbit. “I wouldn't change it though, not for anything.”
“Do you want to go inside?” Andy asked, “Looks like little ones hungry.”
“Teething,” Gwen replied. “She's got two top teeth and one bottom. Soon to be two, isn't it, Ceri?”
Ceri gurgled and waved the rabbit in the air for a moment before resuming chewing it.
Holding the door so Gwen could push the buggy into the cafe, Andy wondered why he'd held of from doing this for so long. It felt like old times, back when they'd been on the beat together, the easy conversation like they'd not spent months without seeing each other.
“So how are things?” Andy asked once they had sat down with their drinks.
“Good,” Gwen replied. “Tiring, but good. Between Ceri and...” she looked around then said quietly “Torchwood I have no idea when I last got a proper night's sleep, but I wouldn't trade it, any of it, for the world.”
“You're still running it on your own?”
Gwen nodded, drinking her coffee. “You have no idea how much I need this stuff to stay awake these days. “There's a couple of people Jack knew who help out, I've met one of them before, but I don't like asking too much as she lost her husband recently. Other than than that there there's a bloke who's parents got killed these old cinema film characters that might come and work for us.”
How you got killed by characters in a film Andy had no idea and given that it would come with a Torchwood level of weird attached to it he decided that he was probably better of not knowing if he ever wanted to watch a film again.
“I came to get a birthday present for Tom. Not really had much luck yet. I'm just not sure what to get him.”
Gwen gave him a disbelieving look.“You've driven for a couple of hours to get a birthday present for somebody who just works for you?”
“About that,” Andy said putting his coffee down, feeling horribly nervous again, despite the fact he was almost certain Gwen that will be totally fine with what he's about to say. “You were right, when you called, what you said about Tom and me. I mean not when you called, it was about a month later, but well...yes. Me and Tom.”
“Oh Andy, that's brilliant,” Gwen said genuinely happy for him.
“You're not angry?”
“Why would I be?” Gwen said, still smiling. “One of my oldest friends tells me he's in love, I'm going to be happy for him. There's been too much bad news lately.”
Andy nodded feeling almost giddy with relief that Gwen hadn't asked him anything along the lines of 'so when did you realise you were gay?' Not least because wasn't actually gay, as even if he settled down with Tom forever, an idea that did wonderful, funny things to his insides whenever he thought about it, it didn't change the fact that he'd fancied women, dated them and still found them sexually attractive, and also because nobody ever asked anyone when they decided to be straight.
“So what's he like?” Gwen asked, picking Ceri out of her buggy and sitting her on her lap.
“He's the nicest guy I've ever met, he's kind and funny, and for some reason he loves me.” Andy smiled, wondering how Tom was getting on at the farmers market. Hopefully well enough that it was worth the walk into Rhayader. Taking out his phone, Andy flicked through the photos on it until he found the one of him and Tom on the bridge between the reservoirs. He turned the phone round so Gwen could see. “That's back in the summer, a couple of miles from the farm.”
“Wow he's short,” Gwen said before she could stop herself. “And young.”
“He'll be twenty two on Monday and he's about as tall as you,” Andy said defensively. The photo did make Tom look even shorter than he actually was. With him leaning in Tom's head was only level with his shoulder.
“That's still pretty short for a bloke. Still best things come in small packages, they say.” There was laughter in her eyes as she added, “Although there's one package I think we'd both prefer to be a decent size on our men.”
“Gwen!” Andy said uncertain whether to be more shocked or amused. In the end he settled on relieved. Gwen was still the same old Gwen she'd been when she could make the entire break room blush.
“You're looking happier than I've seen you in ages,” Gwen said, taking a tub of banana slices out of a bag on the back of the buggy for Ceri. “Love suits you.”
“I don't think I've ever fell so hard for anyone,” Andy admitted. There had been people who'd come close. If Gwen had said yes all those years ago when they'd both been on the force just a couple of months then who knew how their lives would have turned out. There had been a man as well, but the strain on him being firmly in the closet with his friends and family had put such a strain on their relationship that after four months he'd given him the choice of come out or break up. Poor Stuart hadn't deserved to be treated as just a dirty secret, and now looking back at it he wonders how the other man had put up with his demands for secrecy for as long as he did.
“Earth calling, Andy,” Gwen said, leaning in a little closer to him. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just thinking.” He looked up and managed a smile. “I can't imaging going back to living without him, you know. He's there when I need him, he knows all about what happened, about why I left.”
Gwen looked at him shocked. “You told him about...you know...aliens?”
Andy shook his head. “Not those, he'd really think I'd lost it. I meant leaving the police.” He curled his hands around his mug. It was still a little too hot for comfort, but it helped keep him in the moment. “He's had a hard life too. He's not told me everything, but it seems like him and his dad were travellers, and when his dad died last year he was left alone and homeless.”
“Poor bloke. I thought those traveller types were right tight with each other, saw each other as all being family?”
“I don't think they were travellers like that, just I don't know maybe more like hippies or something. I don't know, I've not liked to ask as I know it'll upset him. What he's told me though, well his dad being murdered isn't even the half of it. The stuff that's happened to him.” He shook his head. “How he'd still standing, how he still cares, it amazes me. He's seen me just about as low as I've ever been, sitting on the sofa crying and certain that nobody in the world cares. He didn't tell me to stop or to man up, he just put his arm round me and wanted to listen.”
“I should bloody well hope so,” Gwen said, taking hold of his hand. “I'm sorry I've not been there for you, I didn't know. If anybody starts give you a hard time, you just point them in my direction and I'll give them a piece of my mind.”
“I didn't want to tell anybody,” Andy admitted. “I thought people would be angry or disappointed or they'd laugh at me for being so pathetic. I know it doesn't make any sense, but I couldn't stop myself thinking it.”
Gwen gave his hand a squeeze. “I'm just glad you've got someone there. It know it won't make everything better, but it helps. I don't know what I'd do without Rhys. I know you've never really got what I see in him, but he's stuck with me through finding out about aliens, weird alien pregnancy, even getting shot and he's still the same bloke he was.” She smiled, something sad behind her eyes. “If I was better person I'd let him go, I'd keep him safe, let him have a normal life, but I can't, because he's all I've got and I'm fu..” She stopped looked at Ceri who was now wearing more of the banana than she'd eaten and seemed very happy about it if the dribbly grin and bits of fruit being squished between her fingers was anything to go by. “Flipping fed up of losing people.”
He'd not heard about Rhys getting shot, but it seemed to be a past rather than current even from Gwen tone, Andy decided it probably wasn't the best plan to ask about it.
Conversation turned back towards more everyday things like shopping, the weather and how Cardiff City was doing, and by the time they were ready to leave the cafe Andy had decided that even if nothing else worked out in his visit to Cardiff then for this alone it would still have been worth it.
Ceri giggled as Gwen put her back in the buggy and waved the soggy and now quite bananary rabbit in the air.
“Now don't you go being a stranger.” Gwen gave him a hug. “And if you ever need to talk about anything, if you need help with anything, whatever and whenever it is just call. I don't even care if it's two in the morning, I'm probably awake anyway.”
“I hope I won't ever need to.”
“I know, but I'm always there, Andy, I got few enough friends left these days. I...” Gwen stopped and shook her head, obviously having thought better about what she was going to say. “So what's the plan for the rest of the afternoon?”
“I'm visiting my mam, not seen her in a while.” He felt guilty for thinking it, visiting her was definitely the least anticipated part of his trip. There would be endless questions about why he'd not visited sooner, what he was doing with his life, whether he'd found a nice woman to marry yet and whether he was eating properly. He also knew from experience that whatever answer he gave she would still make him feel like he should have done better. That she always ended those types of conversations by telling him that she only did it because she worried about him and wanted to see him successful and happy like his brothers made it even harder to challenge it without making himself feel guilty and ungrateful.
“I'm sure she'll be alright about it,” Gwen said, walking with him to the door of the cafe. “You're worrying about what she's going to say, aren't you?”
Andy nodded, not wanting to go into details.
“I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think.”
Andy nodded again, wanting and failing to believed she was right.
* * * *
Flowers were always a safe bet, Andy decided as he bought up a bunch before driving out to the Roath area of Cardiff and his mother's house.
With the landrover parked outside, he saw the net curtains in the sitting room twitch as he opened the front gate, and by the time he’d reached the front door it was already open.
Mrs Judith Davidson was a tiny woman, barely five foot tall with white hair that was neatly curled and held in place with antique tortoiseshell combs. At seventy three, Andy was aware that people tended to think that she was his gran rather than his mother.
“Andrew, dear. Come in, I've got the kettle on,” she said letting him inside. “You know where the vases are, don't you?”
If that was the way it was going to be, Andy thought, then he'd take it. Completely ignoring the fact that the last time he'd been there had been the morning after he'd agreed to take retirement from the police, that that visit had ended with him nearly in tears after she'd all but told him he'd brought everything that had happened upon himself by his own inability to act like a responsible adult, was actually easier than raking over that old, painful ground with her.
“Yes. That would be great, mam.” Andy stopped to hang up his coat and take off his shoes. “It was really busy in town.”
“This is just visit, isn't it?” she said she waited for him to follow her into the kitchen. She looked at the flowers. “Or are you trying to find a way to tell me have you given up on the farm now too?”
“Just a visit. There were a few things I needed to get in town. The farm is going well. I should be able to open it as a campsite next spring.” Andy knew all too well that she saw him leaving the police as some form of failure of strength of character on his part. Not that she knew all the facts, but even if she did, he wasn't entirely sure that it would soften her view. It really wasn't worth breaking the official secrets act to continue to be made to feel like a failure. The fact that she didn't seem to realise how much it hurt him to hear her, that she seemed to think that it was alright because she was family, really didn't help either.
While the tea brewed in the pot and Andy put the flowers into a vase she told him all about her plans for Christmas. James would still be away on duty, the navy vessel he served on not returning until the new year. David and his wife Marion were spending Christmas with their eldest daughter and helping her and her husband get ready for their new and imminently arriving baby. While Simon and his family were coming over on Christmas Day in time for the Queen's speech. Then on Boxing day she was going to help out at the local hospice; Christmas was, after all, a time for charity.
“Which just leaves us,” she said, putting the tea things onto a tray. “I was thinking that you should come over on Christmas Eve and help me put up the tree and then stay until Boxing Day. Although if you wanted to stay for longer that would be okay. I can't be much fun living in the middle of nowhere like you've decided to do.”
“About that, “Andy said, heart in mouth, wishing that he still had the flowers to do as a distraction. “I've got somebody working with me on the farm now and I was wondering if whether it would be alright if he came with me for Christmas?”
“Hasn't he got a family of his own to go to?” she asked, taking a biscuit tin out of the cupboard.
“No,” Andy replied, hoping that Tom wouldn't be too unhappy with him talking about his past. “He lost his father last year and he was homeless and living in a tent when I gave him a job. And I don't want to leave either of you alone at Christmas.”
“He really has nobody?”
“No, and like you said Christmas is a time for charity.” Andy thought about Tom who would hate being referred to as a charity case, but decided that he'd probably understand.
His mother's expression softened slightly for a moment and then hardened again. “Or at least that's what he's told you. How old did you say he was?”
Andy felt his heart sink. It was going to be one of those sort of visits where he'd not be able to do a single thing right. He hated the idea of putting Tom through what was almost certainly going to be a fraught few days where he tried to avoid saying anything that would lead to confrontation. “He's nearly twenty two. His birthday is on Monday.”
She frowned. “No girlfriend either?”
“He's mentioned somebody called Allison a couple of times, but I don't think it worked out,” Andy said hoping that she wouldn't have too many more questions he didn't have the answers to or did but wasn't prepared to admit to yet. “I think she went to university, he said something about her being a lawyer.”
His mother pursed her lips and shook her head. “That's the problem with young women today. No interest in raising a family. No wonder men today get so confused about what their role should be.” She got the sugar bowl out of the cupboard. “Speaking of which you need to find a nice girl and settle down. You're thirty, it's time you started acting like it.”
“I want to get the camp site up and running properly first,” Andy said knowing that there was no point arguing with her and wondering how long that was going to be a viable excuse. Certainly until it was up and running and by then David's daughter would have produced the much wanted great grandchild and with a new baby to coo over maybe she'd stop asking him whether he was going to settle down and would leave him and Tom in peace. The fact the he was thinking of Tom being there in months and even years to come gave Andy a warm feeling inside. Not wanting to explain it to his mam, he looked down, trying to cover his smile.
“There is someone, isn't there?” she said, fixing Andy with a piercing blue stare. “What's she like? Do you think I wouldn't approve of her? Is this why you haven't told me about her?”
“No, it's not like that. I really don't have a girlfriend,” Andy said wondering how his mam could instantly make him feel like he was teenager again.
“You've not told her you like her, have you?” she asked with an exasperated shake of her head. “Don't leave it too long or she'll find somebody else. Ladies don't like to be kept waiting.”
“What should I tell Tom?” Andy asked, trying to steer the conversation back in a direction where he'd actually get an answer rather than a lot more uncomfortable questions.
She gave him a long suffering smile. “You really are too soft. How you lasted in the police as long as you did I'll never know. If it will give you peace of mind, you may invite him. I expect you to tell him thought that while he is in my house that he will abide by the rules of it.”
“He will,” Andy said picking up the tray of tea things and carrying them through to the living room for her. The rules like no loud music, no smoking inside, no swearing really wouldn't be a problem, although Tom might need occasional reminding about remembering to take off his shoes when he came inside the first couple of times.
“I've made up the guest room for you,” she said after they had finished their tea. “I hope you don't mind all the boxes in there, but I'm helping to organise the churches Christmas charity parcels this year.”
“Of course not,” Andy replied knowing that unless he found something to do he'd end up being asked even more questions about what he was doing with his life. “While I'm here are is anything you'd like a hand with?”
“Now that you mention it the lightbulb in the bathroom has been flicking, I think the bulb needs changing, but I can't reach it. I meant to ask David when he visited last Sunday, but we got talking about the baby and well, you know how things are.”
Andy nodded, happy to catch up on family gossip without having to provide any of his own.
It was in a way a relief to find a number of odd jobs to do around the house. It gave him something to do rather than miss Tom and worry about how he was. Get a few bits down from the attic for her, change the light bulb, bleed the radiators in time for winter and rake up a few leaves from the lawn.
The evening had consisted of a few hours of quiz shows, cookery programs and home renovation, followed by the ten o'clock news and weather and then, as it always had been when he'd lived home, the television was switched off for the night.
* * * *
As visits home went it had been about as got as they got, Andy thought the following morning, as he got ready to leave. Sunday morning had been the rush that it had become in resent years as his mam tried to get breakfast cooked before she went off to church.
Andy supposed that it was more correctly he supposed you'd call it chapel as it was Methodist rather Anglican. They had only ever been Christmas church goers when he'd been young, his mother's weekly Sunday visits only having started after his dad had died. He suspected that his mother liked the social aspect of it as much or maybe even more than the religious part, as she felt his loss more keenly then as that had been the one day of the week when he'd always been at home.
After doing the washing up for her and putting the washing machine on, Andy left. A quick trip into a much less busy city centre and a browse round the market down by the Millennium Stadium finally provided some presents for Tom in the form of a new set of wood carving tools and a couple of thick jumpers for when the weather turned.
With presents finally bought and the good news about Christmas to deliver, Andy got into the landrover happy with his visit to Cardiff and drove back to the farm.
TBC.
Notes.
Sorry about how late this part is, hoping to get back to my twice a week posting schedule after this part.
This is becoming the fic series of doom as the 'verse now included the past Martha/Tom Martha/Mickey drabble set found here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/890877
Which fits in with what Gwen talks about in the cafe.
Fandoms Torchwood/Being Human crossover fic.
Characters/pairings Andy Davidson/Tom McNair. Other Torchwood and Being Human characters will appear later on.
Word count: This part 3700 (Total posted 54,200 /90,000)
Rating This part pg (adult over all)
Contains Mentions of depression/anxiety. Mentions of past canon major character death. Mention of minor character death – not canon. In later parts canon level violence, graphic sex, Andy's homophobic mother. Spoilers for Being Human (UK version) up to series 5 episode 3, and for Torchwood up to Children of Earth.
A/N: Crossover with Being Human. Technically a CoE fix it as it's set in the same 'verse as Finding Ways To Smile Again (although that isn't apparent until about 2/3 the way through the story). Follows on from Break and Breakaway from Tom McNair's POV – which is where it breaks from Being Human canon.
Summary
After being pushed out of the police force following the events of Children of Earth, Andy Davidson tries to build a new life for himself in the deep in the Welsh countryside.
Tom McNair walked out off his old life after realising it wasn't what he needed.
A chance meeting would take their lives in directions that they had never expected and bring them love that they'd not thought they'd find.
Starts here: http://the-silver-sun.livejournal.com/214504.html
It had seemed like such a good idea back at the farmhouse. Just go into Cardiff have a wander round the shops, find something for Tom’s birthday and then meet up with Gwen for a coffee and a chat so he reassure her that he really was getting on alright now. But standing outside a cafe, waiting for Gwen, Andy could feel his heart start to beat faster. Cardiff’s main shopping area seemed too busy and too loud, people starting the pre-Christmas rush now that Halloween and Bonfire Night had been and gone.
He looked around, wondering if people were staring at him. He’d only be there a couple of minutes, but it felt like he’d been standing there all day. Every passing second was another opportunity for somebody he once knew to spot him, to come over to him and ask him questions he couldn’t answer. Or worse what if he saw one of his old colleagues out on patrol or DCI Blanchard?
Andy was just about to go inside to wait, hoping that if he got a coffee and sat in the corner nobody would randomly start talking to him or bothering him, when he saw Gwen pushing a buggy through the crowd towards him.
“Hello stranger,” she said reaching him, and then giving him a hug.
Surprised, Andy froze for a moment before returning it. “Stranger yourself. Never thought I'd see the day. Gwen Cooper, mummy.”
Gwen laughed. “I never did either. It was always Rhys that was the family one.” She smiled and looked at Ceri who was chewing on the ear of a toy rabbit. “I wouldn't change it though, not for anything.”
“Do you want to go inside?” Andy asked, “Looks like little ones hungry.”
“Teething,” Gwen replied. “She's got two top teeth and one bottom. Soon to be two, isn't it, Ceri?”
Ceri gurgled and waved the rabbit in the air for a moment before resuming chewing it.
Holding the door so Gwen could push the buggy into the cafe, Andy wondered why he'd held of from doing this for so long. It felt like old times, back when they'd been on the beat together, the easy conversation like they'd not spent months without seeing each other.
“So how are things?” Andy asked once they had sat down with their drinks.
“Good,” Gwen replied. “Tiring, but good. Between Ceri and...” she looked around then said quietly “Torchwood I have no idea when I last got a proper night's sleep, but I wouldn't trade it, any of it, for the world.”
“You're still running it on your own?”
Gwen nodded, drinking her coffee. “You have no idea how much I need this stuff to stay awake these days. “There's a couple of people Jack knew who help out, I've met one of them before, but I don't like asking too much as she lost her husband recently. Other than than that there there's a bloke who's parents got killed these old cinema film characters that might come and work for us.”
How you got killed by characters in a film Andy had no idea and given that it would come with a Torchwood level of weird attached to it he decided that he was probably better of not knowing if he ever wanted to watch a film again.
“I came to get a birthday present for Tom. Not really had much luck yet. I'm just not sure what to get him.”
Gwen gave him a disbelieving look.“You've driven for a couple of hours to get a birthday present for somebody who just works for you?”
“About that,” Andy said putting his coffee down, feeling horribly nervous again, despite the fact he was almost certain Gwen that will be totally fine with what he's about to say. “You were right, when you called, what you said about Tom and me. I mean not when you called, it was about a month later, but well...yes. Me and Tom.”
“Oh Andy, that's brilliant,” Gwen said genuinely happy for him.
“You're not angry?”
“Why would I be?” Gwen said, still smiling. “One of my oldest friends tells me he's in love, I'm going to be happy for him. There's been too much bad news lately.”
Andy nodded feeling almost giddy with relief that Gwen hadn't asked him anything along the lines of 'so when did you realise you were gay?' Not least because wasn't actually gay, as even if he settled down with Tom forever, an idea that did wonderful, funny things to his insides whenever he thought about it, it didn't change the fact that he'd fancied women, dated them and still found them sexually attractive, and also because nobody ever asked anyone when they decided to be straight.
“So what's he like?” Gwen asked, picking Ceri out of her buggy and sitting her on her lap.
“He's the nicest guy I've ever met, he's kind and funny, and for some reason he loves me.” Andy smiled, wondering how Tom was getting on at the farmers market. Hopefully well enough that it was worth the walk into Rhayader. Taking out his phone, Andy flicked through the photos on it until he found the one of him and Tom on the bridge between the reservoirs. He turned the phone round so Gwen could see. “That's back in the summer, a couple of miles from the farm.”
“Wow he's short,” Gwen said before she could stop herself. “And young.”
“He'll be twenty two on Monday and he's about as tall as you,” Andy said defensively. The photo did make Tom look even shorter than he actually was. With him leaning in Tom's head was only level with his shoulder.
“That's still pretty short for a bloke. Still best things come in small packages, they say.” There was laughter in her eyes as she added, “Although there's one package I think we'd both prefer to be a decent size on our men.”
“Gwen!” Andy said uncertain whether to be more shocked or amused. In the end he settled on relieved. Gwen was still the same old Gwen she'd been when she could make the entire break room blush.
“You're looking happier than I've seen you in ages,” Gwen said, taking a tub of banana slices out of a bag on the back of the buggy for Ceri. “Love suits you.”
“I don't think I've ever fell so hard for anyone,” Andy admitted. There had been people who'd come close. If Gwen had said yes all those years ago when they'd both been on the force just a couple of months then who knew how their lives would have turned out. There had been a man as well, but the strain on him being firmly in the closet with his friends and family had put such a strain on their relationship that after four months he'd given him the choice of come out or break up. Poor Stuart hadn't deserved to be treated as just a dirty secret, and now looking back at it he wonders how the other man had put up with his demands for secrecy for as long as he did.
“Earth calling, Andy,” Gwen said, leaning in a little closer to him. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just thinking.” He looked up and managed a smile. “I can't imaging going back to living without him, you know. He's there when I need him, he knows all about what happened, about why I left.”
Gwen looked at him shocked. “You told him about...you know...aliens?”
Andy shook his head. “Not those, he'd really think I'd lost it. I meant leaving the police.” He curled his hands around his mug. It was still a little too hot for comfort, but it helped keep him in the moment. “He's had a hard life too. He's not told me everything, but it seems like him and his dad were travellers, and when his dad died last year he was left alone and homeless.”
“Poor bloke. I thought those traveller types were right tight with each other, saw each other as all being family?”
“I don't think they were travellers like that, just I don't know maybe more like hippies or something. I don't know, I've not liked to ask as I know it'll upset him. What he's told me though, well his dad being murdered isn't even the half of it. The stuff that's happened to him.” He shook his head. “How he'd still standing, how he still cares, it amazes me. He's seen me just about as low as I've ever been, sitting on the sofa crying and certain that nobody in the world cares. He didn't tell me to stop or to man up, he just put his arm round me and wanted to listen.”
“I should bloody well hope so,” Gwen said, taking hold of his hand. “I'm sorry I've not been there for you, I didn't know. If anybody starts give you a hard time, you just point them in my direction and I'll give them a piece of my mind.”
“I didn't want to tell anybody,” Andy admitted. “I thought people would be angry or disappointed or they'd laugh at me for being so pathetic. I know it doesn't make any sense, but I couldn't stop myself thinking it.”
Gwen gave his hand a squeeze. “I'm just glad you've got someone there. It know it won't make everything better, but it helps. I don't know what I'd do without Rhys. I know you've never really got what I see in him, but he's stuck with me through finding out about aliens, weird alien pregnancy, even getting shot and he's still the same bloke he was.” She smiled, something sad behind her eyes. “If I was better person I'd let him go, I'd keep him safe, let him have a normal life, but I can't, because he's all I've got and I'm fu..” She stopped looked at Ceri who was now wearing more of the banana than she'd eaten and seemed very happy about it if the dribbly grin and bits of fruit being squished between her fingers was anything to go by. “Flipping fed up of losing people.”
He'd not heard about Rhys getting shot, but it seemed to be a past rather than current even from Gwen tone, Andy decided it probably wasn't the best plan to ask about it.
Conversation turned back towards more everyday things like shopping, the weather and how Cardiff City was doing, and by the time they were ready to leave the cafe Andy had decided that even if nothing else worked out in his visit to Cardiff then for this alone it would still have been worth it.
Ceri giggled as Gwen put her back in the buggy and waved the soggy and now quite bananary rabbit in the air.
“Now don't you go being a stranger.” Gwen gave him a hug. “And if you ever need to talk about anything, if you need help with anything, whatever and whenever it is just call. I don't even care if it's two in the morning, I'm probably awake anyway.”
“I hope I won't ever need to.”
“I know, but I'm always there, Andy, I got few enough friends left these days. I...” Gwen stopped and shook her head, obviously having thought better about what she was going to say. “So what's the plan for the rest of the afternoon?”
“I'm visiting my mam, not seen her in a while.” He felt guilty for thinking it, visiting her was definitely the least anticipated part of his trip. There would be endless questions about why he'd not visited sooner, what he was doing with his life, whether he'd found a nice woman to marry yet and whether he was eating properly. He also knew from experience that whatever answer he gave she would still make him feel like he should have done better. That she always ended those types of conversations by telling him that she only did it because she worried about him and wanted to see him successful and happy like his brothers made it even harder to challenge it without making himself feel guilty and ungrateful.
“I'm sure she'll be alright about it,” Gwen said, walking with him to the door of the cafe. “You're worrying about what she's going to say, aren't you?”
Andy nodded, not wanting to go into details.
“I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think.”
Andy nodded again, wanting and failing to believed she was right.
* * * *
Flowers were always a safe bet, Andy decided as he bought up a bunch before driving out to the Roath area of Cardiff and his mother's house.
With the landrover parked outside, he saw the net curtains in the sitting room twitch as he opened the front gate, and by the time he’d reached the front door it was already open.
Mrs Judith Davidson was a tiny woman, barely five foot tall with white hair that was neatly curled and held in place with antique tortoiseshell combs. At seventy three, Andy was aware that people tended to think that she was his gran rather than his mother.
“Andrew, dear. Come in, I've got the kettle on,” she said letting him inside. “You know where the vases are, don't you?”
If that was the way it was going to be, Andy thought, then he'd take it. Completely ignoring the fact that the last time he'd been there had been the morning after he'd agreed to take retirement from the police, that that visit had ended with him nearly in tears after she'd all but told him he'd brought everything that had happened upon himself by his own inability to act like a responsible adult, was actually easier than raking over that old, painful ground with her.
“Yes. That would be great, mam.” Andy stopped to hang up his coat and take off his shoes. “It was really busy in town.”
“This is just visit, isn't it?” she said she waited for him to follow her into the kitchen. She looked at the flowers. “Or are you trying to find a way to tell me have you given up on the farm now too?”
“Just a visit. There were a few things I needed to get in town. The farm is going well. I should be able to open it as a campsite next spring.” Andy knew all too well that she saw him leaving the police as some form of failure of strength of character on his part. Not that she knew all the facts, but even if she did, he wasn't entirely sure that it would soften her view. It really wasn't worth breaking the official secrets act to continue to be made to feel like a failure. The fact that she didn't seem to realise how much it hurt him to hear her, that she seemed to think that it was alright because she was family, really didn't help either.
While the tea brewed in the pot and Andy put the flowers into a vase she told him all about her plans for Christmas. James would still be away on duty, the navy vessel he served on not returning until the new year. David and his wife Marion were spending Christmas with their eldest daughter and helping her and her husband get ready for their new and imminently arriving baby. While Simon and his family were coming over on Christmas Day in time for the Queen's speech. Then on Boxing day she was going to help out at the local hospice; Christmas was, after all, a time for charity.
“Which just leaves us,” she said, putting the tea things onto a tray. “I was thinking that you should come over on Christmas Eve and help me put up the tree and then stay until Boxing Day. Although if you wanted to stay for longer that would be okay. I can't be much fun living in the middle of nowhere like you've decided to do.”
“About that, “Andy said, heart in mouth, wishing that he still had the flowers to do as a distraction. “I've got somebody working with me on the farm now and I was wondering if whether it would be alright if he came with me for Christmas?”
“Hasn't he got a family of his own to go to?” she asked, taking a biscuit tin out of the cupboard.
“No,” Andy replied, hoping that Tom wouldn't be too unhappy with him talking about his past. “He lost his father last year and he was homeless and living in a tent when I gave him a job. And I don't want to leave either of you alone at Christmas.”
“He really has nobody?”
“No, and like you said Christmas is a time for charity.” Andy thought about Tom who would hate being referred to as a charity case, but decided that he'd probably understand.
His mother's expression softened slightly for a moment and then hardened again. “Or at least that's what he's told you. How old did you say he was?”
Andy felt his heart sink. It was going to be one of those sort of visits where he'd not be able to do a single thing right. He hated the idea of putting Tom through what was almost certainly going to be a fraught few days where he tried to avoid saying anything that would lead to confrontation. “He's nearly twenty two. His birthday is on Monday.”
She frowned. “No girlfriend either?”
“He's mentioned somebody called Allison a couple of times, but I don't think it worked out,” Andy said hoping that she wouldn't have too many more questions he didn't have the answers to or did but wasn't prepared to admit to yet. “I think she went to university, he said something about her being a lawyer.”
His mother pursed her lips and shook her head. “That's the problem with young women today. No interest in raising a family. No wonder men today get so confused about what their role should be.” She got the sugar bowl out of the cupboard. “Speaking of which you need to find a nice girl and settle down. You're thirty, it's time you started acting like it.”
“I want to get the camp site up and running properly first,” Andy said knowing that there was no point arguing with her and wondering how long that was going to be a viable excuse. Certainly until it was up and running and by then David's daughter would have produced the much wanted great grandchild and with a new baby to coo over maybe she'd stop asking him whether he was going to settle down and would leave him and Tom in peace. The fact the he was thinking of Tom being there in months and even years to come gave Andy a warm feeling inside. Not wanting to explain it to his mam, he looked down, trying to cover his smile.
“There is someone, isn't there?” she said, fixing Andy with a piercing blue stare. “What's she like? Do you think I wouldn't approve of her? Is this why you haven't told me about her?”
“No, it's not like that. I really don't have a girlfriend,” Andy said wondering how his mam could instantly make him feel like he was teenager again.
“You've not told her you like her, have you?” she asked with an exasperated shake of her head. “Don't leave it too long or she'll find somebody else. Ladies don't like to be kept waiting.”
“What should I tell Tom?” Andy asked, trying to steer the conversation back in a direction where he'd actually get an answer rather than a lot more uncomfortable questions.
She gave him a long suffering smile. “You really are too soft. How you lasted in the police as long as you did I'll never know. If it will give you peace of mind, you may invite him. I expect you to tell him thought that while he is in my house that he will abide by the rules of it.”
“He will,” Andy said picking up the tray of tea things and carrying them through to the living room for her. The rules like no loud music, no smoking inside, no swearing really wouldn't be a problem, although Tom might need occasional reminding about remembering to take off his shoes when he came inside the first couple of times.
“I've made up the guest room for you,” she said after they had finished their tea. “I hope you don't mind all the boxes in there, but I'm helping to organise the churches Christmas charity parcels this year.”
“Of course not,” Andy replied knowing that unless he found something to do he'd end up being asked even more questions about what he was doing with his life. “While I'm here are is anything you'd like a hand with?”
“Now that you mention it the lightbulb in the bathroom has been flicking, I think the bulb needs changing, but I can't reach it. I meant to ask David when he visited last Sunday, but we got talking about the baby and well, you know how things are.”
Andy nodded, happy to catch up on family gossip without having to provide any of his own.
It was in a way a relief to find a number of odd jobs to do around the house. It gave him something to do rather than miss Tom and worry about how he was. Get a few bits down from the attic for her, change the light bulb, bleed the radiators in time for winter and rake up a few leaves from the lawn.
The evening had consisted of a few hours of quiz shows, cookery programs and home renovation, followed by the ten o'clock news and weather and then, as it always had been when he'd lived home, the television was switched off for the night.
* * * *
As visits home went it had been about as got as they got, Andy thought the following morning, as he got ready to leave. Sunday morning had been the rush that it had become in resent years as his mam tried to get breakfast cooked before she went off to church.
Andy supposed that it was more correctly he supposed you'd call it chapel as it was Methodist rather Anglican. They had only ever been Christmas church goers when he'd been young, his mother's weekly Sunday visits only having started after his dad had died. He suspected that his mother liked the social aspect of it as much or maybe even more than the religious part, as she felt his loss more keenly then as that had been the one day of the week when he'd always been at home.
After doing the washing up for her and putting the washing machine on, Andy left. A quick trip into a much less busy city centre and a browse round the market down by the Millennium Stadium finally provided some presents for Tom in the form of a new set of wood carving tools and a couple of thick jumpers for when the weather turned.
With presents finally bought and the good news about Christmas to deliver, Andy got into the landrover happy with his visit to Cardiff and drove back to the farm.
TBC.
Notes.
Sorry about how late this part is, hoping to get back to my twice a week posting schedule after this part.
This is becoming the fic series of doom as the 'verse now included the past Martha/Tom Martha/Mickey drabble set found here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/890877
Which fits in with what Gwen talks about in the cafe.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-30 04:13 pm (UTC)He did great with Gwen, too! That was lovely to see Andy getting some support.
This chapter does highlight how little he knows about Tom's past, and I can't wait to see how the final parts pan out :D
no subject
Date: 2013-11-01 10:32 am (UTC)Tom has told him just about as much as he can without mentioning werewolves, vampires and ghosts. He knows the main (non supernatural) details, that Tom grew up with just his dad, that they travelled around and lived in a camper van, that they sold scrap (possibly stolen) and did odd jobs for cash, that Tom's dad has died and that Tom had grown up with few to no friends and hadn't gone to school.
At least once Tom's told him Andy will feel it's okay to talk about the fact that the reason behind the incidents that lead to him leaving the police was aliens.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-01 02:43 pm (UTC)and angst is awesomeso can't wait to see how it pans out.