Fic: Lives Are For Living. (25/40)
Feb. 2nd, 2014 03:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silver_sunTitle Lives Are For Living. (25/40)
Fandoms Torchwood/Being Human crossover fic.
Characters/pairings Andy Davidson/Tom McNair. Other Torchwood and Being Human characters will appear later on.
Word count: This part 4450 (Total posted 65000 /90,000)
Rating This part pg (adult over all) – see contains below.
Contains Mentions of depression/anxiety. Mentions of past canon major character death. Mention of minor character death – not canon. In later parts canon level violence, graphic sex, Andy's homophobic mother. Spoilers for Being Human (UK version) up to series 5 episode 3, and for Torchwood up to Children of Earth.
A/N: Crossover with Being Human. Technically a CoE fix it as it's set in the same 'verse as Finding Ways To Smile Again (although that isn't apparent until about 2/3 the way through the story). Follows on from Break and Breakaway from Tom McNair's POV – which is where it breaks from Being Human canon.
Summary
After being pushed out of the police force following the events of Children of Earth, Andy Davidson tries to build a new life for himself in the deep in the Welsh countryside.
Tom McNair walked out off his old life after realising it wasn't what he needed.
A chance meeting would take their lives in directions that they had never expected and bring them love that they'd not thought they'd find.
Starts here: http://the-silver-sun.livejournal.com/214504.html
It had been a strange sort of day, Andy decided looking at Tom, who was lying on the hotel bed, his feet up by the pillows, eating sweets and watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks.
He'd eventually fallen into an exhausted sleep late on Christmas Eve and hadn't woken until breakfast, which Tom had arranged, was delivered to their room mid morning on Christmas Day.
They'd even gone down to the hotel's restaurant for the last service of Christmas Dinner, after Tom had pointed out that since they'd paid for it they might as well eat it, as he didn't think it were right wasting food. It had been good as well, better than sitting in the room being alternately bored or annoyed with what was on television or thinking too much about past Christmases. Not that he could help the last one straying into his thoughts. It was, after all, the first Christmas Day that he'd not spent at least part of it at his Mum's. Even on the years where he'd been working, he'd still got there for a couple of hours in the evening.
This could be a new Christmas tradition for Tom and him, Andy decided. A nice hotel, no washing up or cooking to have to deal with. That was it, he told himself, they were starting something new together. It just felt strange because it was new. Change wasn't bad, it was just different. Whether putting a positive spin on it was a coping strategy or if it was just tricking himself, he wasn't sure, and perhaps in the end if he ended up feeling better about it then maybe it didn't matter which one it was.
“That were great,” Tom said when the film had finished. “All them knights and that. It's not like real ghosts, but it were still good. I should ask Alex if she can do that.”
“Be a knight?” Andy asked, wondering if he'd missed some part of what Tom had said. He knew his mind had been else where a lot over the last day or two, but he didn't think it had been wandering just then.
Tom stared at him for a moment, something like fear in his eyes as he said,“Yeah, that's what I meant. With swords and that.”
It obviously hadn't been what he'd meant, Andy was sure of that, but short of calling him a liar and asking him if he meant Alex was a witch who was able to call up ghosts into suits of armour, there really wasn't anything else to do but nod and agree. He'd seen stranger things, weevils with faces like a bad Halloween masks and claws like knives, part alien girls from the future with havoc casing remote controls, time displaced Roman Centurions and people in locked cells who'd choked to death on mysteriously appearing rose petals. He shook his head. It all seemed impossible and mad now. It was something from another life.
This was his life now. A small business owner with a home of his own, a financially secure future and a boyfriend who was more than he'd ever hoped for and who he'd come to love more than he'd thought possible. It was a good life. He just wished his family could have found it in their heart to continue to be a part of it.
“You alright?” Tom asked, putting an arm round him.
“Yeah,” Andy replied, surprised that he actually was. “Today could have been awful, but you made it...” The best ever didn't seem right given that they were only staying in the hotel because of his mother, nor did merely saying good, Tom had worked too hard, been too thoughtful for it to only be good. “Special.” Andy settled on and leant over to kiss him.
It was sods law that the moment you were really into getting into something the phone would ring, Andy thought irritably as he heard his mobile. They'll give up in a couple more rings he told himself, as he ran his hands down Tom's chest.
“You should answer it,” Tom said, breathless and earnest as he pulled his t-shirt back down. “You don't get many calls, so it's probably important.”
That really didn't make it any better, Andy decided as he got out of bed and retrieved his mobile from his coat pocket. “Hello,” Andy said, trying to fight the twist of nerves that was wrapping itself tight about his chest and throat. “Andy Davidson speaking.”
“I should hope so. I don't want to find out you've had your phone stolen on Christmas Day.”
“Simon?” Andy asked shocked that any of his family would be willingly calling him. “Has something happened? It's not Mum, is it or Great Auntie Jean?”
“No, nothing like that.”
Feeling almost shaky with relief, Andy sat down on the edge of the bed. He could see Tom watching him with concern, so he covered the mobile for a moment and said, “It's Simon. My brother.”
“Oh right.” Tom looked over at the door to the on-suite. “I'll go and have a shave or something, so you can talk. Well if you want to that is.”
Andy nodded, although he wasn't sure it was the right thing to do.
“Are you still there?” Simon asked when Andy uncovered the phone.
“Yeah,” Andy replied, still wondering why Simon would phone him and hoping that it wasn't because he wanted to have a go at him about Tom. “Why are you calling?”
“To say Happy Christmas, and because I hear congratulation are in order,” he answered. “It's not everyday that you find out your little brother has finally settled down.”
“Mum told you then?” Andy said dully, knowing that if she'd told Simon, both James and David would most likely know by now too. Well maybe not James, getting it out to where his ship was might take a while.
“Eventually,” Simon said not sounding too happy about it. “I realised something was up when she said you weren't going to be there for Christmas after all. So after I pointed out that there was no way she have managed to get the tree up by herself she told me.”
“I bet that was a fun conversation,” Andy said not bothering to hide the bitterness he felt.
There was a pause and then Simon said, “Probably better than whatever she directed at you and your partner.”
“His name's Tom,” Andy said, knowing that he was being rather more defensive than perhaps he needed to be with Simon.
There was another pause, then Simon said, “Rachel said I should call and find out where you and Tom were. Have you gone back home yet?”
“No, we're at hotel in Cardiff, I couldn't face Christmas Eve traffic twice in one day,” Andy said, finding it easier to lie than tell him he'd been so close to falling apart that he was scared he crash. “We're going home tomorrow.”
“You can come past Pontyclun on the way back if you want. Rachel said you should come round for Boxing Day dinner.”
“And what did you say?” Andy asked, still unable to believe that after so many years of keeping this part of his life secret from him family that at least one of them was so accept. It made him wish in a way that he'd told Simon years ago. If he had perhaps his Mum would have got use to the idea by now.
“I said it was a great idea and probably better than my one, which was us all driving up to your place for a surprise visit.” He laughed. “I don't think I'd have heard the last of it if I'd driven all the way out there and found you weren't in.”
“I don't think getting your car stuck half way up a farm track would have gone too well either,” Andy said, wondering if Simon still drove the old estate car that he'd had for years.
“Knowing my luck with cars I'd have called the RAC and they'd have ended up getting stuck as well.” He paused. “So are you coming tomorrow?”
“Is Tom invited too?” Andy asked, not wanting to take anything for granted just yet.
“Of course he is. You stood up to Mum about him,” he said sounding impressed. “Of course I want to meet him, because right now he's really sounding like a potential brother in law.”
Andy glanced toward the bathroom door and wonder if Tom could hear any of what they were saying. He'd not talked about anything like that with him, but now the idea had been put out there, he knew that it wouldn't be forgotten. “I think so,” Andy said eventually. “I hope so.”
“Well I've got to get the kids from Mum's now, before they're any more bored out of their minds than than they already are. So Happy Christmas to you and Tom, and we'll see you tomorrow at about twelve, if that's okay?”
“That's fine. See you tomorrow then,” Andy said, then added, “I've got some gift vouchers for Ben and Louise, I wasn't sure what they like any more.”
“They're teenagers,” Simon said, in a rather long suffering kind of tone. “I think it changes from week to week or possibly day to day. I lose track of half of it. I doesn't seem so long ago they wanted dolls and trains. Now it's this band or pop group or some computer game thing.”
“I suspect we were like that once,” Andy said. In some ways didn't seem that long ago really and in others it seem incredibly distant. He guessed for Simon it was even more so. “Right, well I'll see you tomorrow then.”
Tom emerged from the on-suite as soon as Andy had finished the call. “Everything okay then?” he asked sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Andy.
“Yeah.” Andy looked down at the phone. It all seemed too incredible. “Simon wants us to go round for lunch tomorrow, so you can meet them.”
“That's a good thing, right?” Tom asked, sounding like he was thinking hard about what to say.
“It is. After Mum...” Andy stopped and let out a slow breath. “After all that I didn't think any of them would want to talk to me.”
“I thought they would,” Tom said, moving so that they were shoulder to shoulder. “I thought they could be all that bad really, as you're part of their family and you're nice, so they probably have to have a bit of niceness too. Stand to reason that.”
Andy felt a smile tugging at his lips. Tom was so optimistic that it could carry you along with it sometimes.
“So what's Simon like then?” Tom asked.
“I suppose Simon was the one most like me,” Andy said, uncertain really whether it was true or if it was just the fact that Simon was the only one who'd really been around to talk to. “It's funny really, I don't know my other brothers that well at all. David was already at University when I born and didn't move back home afterwards, although he moved back to Cardiff in the end, about fifteen years ago now. James joined the Navy when he was seventeen. I was only three then, so I only saw him when he came back on leave. Simon though was there until I was eight and he came back after he finished university and lived with Mum and Dad until he'd finished his teacher training.”
Tom listened, a small frown on his face that Andy recognised meant that he was thinking hard about something. “I'd always thought of families bein' together all the time you know. I mean, when I didn't have one, I always thought how good it'd be.”
“There were good times,” Andy said. There had been too, a lot of them. Birthdays, holidays, weekends down at the beach, football and rugby in the park, his brothers' weddings, the party they'd had for Great Gran on her ninetieth.
“Yeah, I just mean having other kids around,” Tom said, looking down at the floor. “It were just with no family and not goin' to school, I never really had...” He stopped. “It don't matter now. It's Christmas an' we're together, so we'd better make the most of it if we're goin' to be out tomorrow.”
Although he would have liked to have known what Tom was going to say, Andy didn't want to make him miserable, not when Tom had worked so hard to cheer him up. “Definitely,” Andy replied as he kissed him.
“I don't 'spose you could you turn your phone off?” Tom asked, shifting slightly on the bed. “Only I don't want to have to wait again. It's getting a bit uncomfortable.”
“Oh, right, yes.” Andy hurriedly switched off his phone. “Now where were we?”
* * *
The snow was thicker outside of Cardiff and away from the coast. The main roads had all been gritted, but it made Andy wonder just how much snow there would be waiting for them when they got back to the farm. There were times when he complained about how much fuel the landrover needed, but in weather like this there was a certain smug satisfaction to be had knowing that you could still get places most peoples cars couldn't.
Not that getting to Simon's house was difficult, all main roads until you turned off into a modern cul-de-sac of houses. The old estate car parked out front, the swing and slide had gone though replaced by some decking and a patio set, the umbrella sagging under the weight of the snow.
Simon, a little greyer and with middle age spread rather more noticeable than when Andy had seen him last, opened the door. “Come on in. I'd wondered if you be a bit late what with the snow,” he said moving so that Andy could get inside and out of the cold. “How were the roads?” Simon asked, then noticing the landrover added, “Although nothing short of the next Ice Age looks like it would stop that.”
“Not too bad,” Andy replied, hanging up his coat. “I think everybody was trying to get into Cardiff f
for the sales rather than out.”
“Ah yes,” Simon said amused. “The yearly mad push and shove to buy slightly cheaper things that you didn't really need in the first place. Honestly, putting together the maths homework for my class for next term has end up being more appealing than the sales.”
Turning to Tom, Simon said, “You must be Tom.” He held out his hand. “It's nice to meet you. I don't know what Andy's said about me or the family, but we aren't that bad really.”
Tom shook his hand. “He were nice about you, and it seems like he were right. So it's nice to meet you too.”
Andy felt the knot of worry in his chest loosen a little, relieved that Simon was as positive about his relationship with Tom as he'd seemed on the phone. It made his Mum's reaction feel all the worse. The openness and warmth here was what he'd wanted back in Cardiff. That he'd probably never get it, not after everything that had happened, hurt.
“I know that look,” Simon said. “You're worrying about something.”
“I was just thinking about mum,” Andy replied wondering if he should have pretended he was just thinking about the weather and how much snow there would be in the Elen Valley.
Simon sighed. “Mum's not exactly my favourite person right now. First what she said to Rach about her job, and now this with you.” He shook his head. “I know it's probably a generational thing, but you've have thought she could have at least learnt a bit of tact in seventy odd years.”
“This is Mum,” Andy said, almost finding it funny. “You remember the business about Uncle Evan's tattoo or even Aunt Jean hat at David's wedding. I don't think she knows the meaning of the word.”
Simon laughed “I've not thought about the hat in years. It really did look like a squashed parrot, but I don't think many people would have said it loud enough for the whole reception to hear.” The smile faded. “She might come round to you being gay eventually.”
Andy sighed and shook his head. He didn't want to get into a conversation about how he wasn't actually gay. It was hard enough people getting their heads around you liking the same sex, never mind that you could actually like both without being some kind of promiscuous sex addict. “I don't it will happen,” he said eventually. “And I'm not going to wait for it to before I live my life.”
“No one would expect you to, at least they shouldn't,” Simon said. “Now, you want to come through to the front room, and I'll go get the kettle on in a minute.”
“Well he's not quite what I imagined,” Simon said once they were in the front room, as he looked at Tom, who was talking to Ben about the film he'd just put on.
“No,” Andy said carefully, worried suddenly where Simon was going with this.
“He's a lot shorter and younger than I thought you'd have gone for, well based on your old girlfriends at least.”
“He seems nice to me,” Rachel said coming over to them. “So, will we be getting a wedding invitation or is it too soon for that?”
Andy looked at Tom. He'd not really thought about it. They were happy as they were, they didn't need a bit of paper to say that. “A bit soon,” he replied a little self-consciously. “We've only been together for four months.”
“So how did you meet him?” Louise asked, apparently able to carry on a separate conversation while texting.
“Lou, really,” Simon said sounding rather exasperated like this was the sort of thing that Louise did all the time. He looked at Tom who had obviously heard and then back at Andy. “You really don't have to answer that.”
“Nah, it's alright, it's nothin' dodgy,” Tom said. “I were looking for somewhere to camp and stopped to ask for directions, and then Andy fell through the roof and I had to get him out. And then we just sort of started living together. That's it really.”
“That's so romantic,” Louise exclaimed, actually stopping texting for a moment and smiling at them. “It's so much cooler than meeting at work or at the bus stop or something like that.”
Baffled at what teenagers found cool, but relieved by her acceptance, Andy decided if Louise was in any way representative of the youth of today then perhaps the future would be a more accepting place.
“You fell through a roof?” Simon asked, sounding like he couldn't decide whether to be worried or amused. “Now that I didn't hear about.”
“I didn't tell anyone,” Andy said, feeling like he had to defend his decision. “I wasn't hurt, what was the point of making Mum or any of you worry?”
“I suppose there's that. She would have wanted you to leave the farm she'd known. She does worry about you, even if she has a funny way of showing it.”
“Jus' as well you didn't tell her about the cow shed then,” Tom said, then gave Andy an apologetic look, although whether it was for mentioning it, mentioning his mum or both Andy wasn't sure.
Simon looked at them both and then said, “Do I want to know?”
“It was just a small accident,” Andy said quickly, hoping that would be the end of it.
Tom gave him a disbelieving look and then said, “You broke your ribs. I wouldn't call that nothin'.”
“It was months ago, I'm fine. Really,” Andy said, feeling more than a little uncomfortable that everybody was looking at him now. “I'm sure nobody wants to hear about it.”
Simon at least seemed to take the hint and said, “Right then, I'll make some tea.” He looked at Andy. “You can give me a hand if you like.”
Although posed as a suggestion, Andy knew Simon well enough to know that meant ' I want to ask, you something in private.' “Okay,” he replied, hoping that things weren't about to start falling apart or that he was about to get some bad news.
Rachel seemed to get what Simon meant too, and said, “Well I'll want the kitchen back in a few minutes as the food is nearly done, so don't make too much of a mess.”
Simon gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “When do I ever make a mess?”
Rachel laughed. “You really want me to answer that?” Go on. I'll have a coffee.”
“Are you okay, really I mean?” Simon asked, once he and Andy were away from everybody else. “You were always saying you were fine as a kid, even when you weren't. You never wanted to worry anyone. Only I heard some stuff from Mum about last year, about you leaving the police. I know she's not the most sympathetic of people, but she was worried about you in her way, so I'm guessing it was pretty bad.” He stopped, looking uncertain if he should say more before finally continuing, “Look you probably don't want me to go on about it, but if you ever need anything, anyone to talk to, you call and I'll come and do the big brother bit, okay?”
Andy nodded. It had been hard enough talking about it to Tom, when he knew he could fall apart for a while, having Tom there, its made a difference, a big difference.
“I'm happy you've got someone, but family is still family, and if anything happens, I mean, if things don't work out...”
“Don't.” Andy glared at him, wondering if Simon was going to start into some spiel about how relationships like his and Tom's wouldn't last.
“I don't mean because he's a man,” Simon said holding up a hand, trying to defuse a situation before it began. “But he is a lot younger than you and you said yourself that you've only been together for a few months. He's what nineteen? twenty? At that age you've barely worked out anything about your life, let alone who you want to be with for the rest of it.”
“He's twenty two. The same age Mum was when she married Dad,” Andy said, hating the doubts that Simon had planted in his mind. “And he's probably more grown up than anybody else that age I know. He's had it so hard, you wouldn't believe it how much he's lost or what he's not had in the first place. He's got nobody else. No family at all.”
“Dependency isn't the best base for a relationship,” Simon pointed out.
“He's not dependent on me or anybody,” Andy said, knowing that it was the truth. If Tom wanted he could get up and go one day and be completely fine. He swallowed hard, not wanting to think about it. Because while Tom might be fine he knew with a level of certainty that terrified him that he wouldn't be. Tom was as central to his life as the farm and the peace and quiet of the Elan Valley where he'd started to put his life back together. Perhaps even more so, as while he could, if he tried, imagine living somewhere else, he couldn't imagine doing it with out Tom there by his side.
Simon had a point though and it worried him. Tom was almost of a different generation than himself. He was closer in age to his niece and nephew than he was to him. Tom would only be in his early thirties when he hit middle aged. What if he didn't want to be stuck with an old bloke? What if they found themselves wanting different things in life? What if Tom didn't want to settle down? What if... Stop it. Stop winding yourself up right now, Andy told himself. Tom was different and it wasn't a generational thing, it was a Tom thing. Tom was like nobody else he'd ever known, although sometimes his unwavering enthusiasm and certainty that things would go right in the end reminded him of how Gwen had been before Torchwood had wormed its way into their lives.
“Hey,” Simon said, trying to get his attention. “I'm not trying ruin things. I hope you make a go of it and prove Mum wrong, and that I can give an embarrassing speech if you get married and that you get all you want out of life together. But if you don't, for whatever reason, I just want you to know you're no where near as alone as you think you are.”
Andy nodded, torn between being grateful and not wanting to think about a situation where he no longer had Tom to turn to for support.
“I'll go Rach know the kitchen is free again, before I say something stupid,” Simon said, before going through to the kitchen.
“You've got a funny look on,” Tom said, when Andy went back into the front room. “Nothin' wrong, is it?”
“No.” Andy made the effort to smile and shook his head. “I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you.”
“Right, food is almost ready,” Rachel said, a few minutes later, taking off the novelty Christmas apron with its googly eyed reindeer. “I've put some of it out on the table, if you all want go and sit down. And Lou, no texting at the table.”
“Have you invited the whole street?” Simon said, looking at the table.
“No, but I didn't want us to run out. Anyway you can save extras and turn it into other stuff,” Rachel said, putting the dishes onto the table so that everybody could help themselves. “It only when you don't have enough it's a problem.”
“That's right clever that,” Tom said, going through and sitting down. “Me Dad used to say things like that.”
Andy looked at his brother and family and Tom all sitting down to dinner together. It was more than he had hoped would have ever happened. Perhaps in time, he hoped, the rest of his family would come to accept him and Tom as well.
part 26 http://the-silver-sun.livejournal.com/227221.html
A/N
Bedknobs and Broomsticks is a kids film about two WW2 evacuees who end up staying with a wannabe witch and end up saving the UK from invasion by getting a load of ghosts of knights/Roman soldiers to help them. It seems to be on around Christmas time most years, rather like The Sound of Music and The Great Escape.
Fandoms Torchwood/Being Human crossover fic.
Characters/pairings Andy Davidson/Tom McNair. Other Torchwood and Being Human characters will appear later on.
Word count: This part 4450 (Total posted 65000 /90,000)
Rating This part pg (adult over all) – see contains below.
Contains Mentions of depression/anxiety. Mentions of past canon major character death. Mention of minor character death – not canon. In later parts canon level violence, graphic sex, Andy's homophobic mother. Spoilers for Being Human (UK version) up to series 5 episode 3, and for Torchwood up to Children of Earth.
A/N: Crossover with Being Human. Technically a CoE fix it as it's set in the same 'verse as Finding Ways To Smile Again (although that isn't apparent until about 2/3 the way through the story). Follows on from Break and Breakaway from Tom McNair's POV – which is where it breaks from Being Human canon.
Summary
After being pushed out of the police force following the events of Children of Earth, Andy Davidson tries to build a new life for himself in the deep in the Welsh countryside.
Tom McNair walked out off his old life after realising it wasn't what he needed.
A chance meeting would take their lives in directions that they had never expected and bring them love that they'd not thought they'd find.
Starts here: http://the-silver-sun.livejournal.com/214504.html
It had been a strange sort of day, Andy decided looking at Tom, who was lying on the hotel bed, his feet up by the pillows, eating sweets and watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks.
He'd eventually fallen into an exhausted sleep late on Christmas Eve and hadn't woken until breakfast, which Tom had arranged, was delivered to their room mid morning on Christmas Day.
They'd even gone down to the hotel's restaurant for the last service of Christmas Dinner, after Tom had pointed out that since they'd paid for it they might as well eat it, as he didn't think it were right wasting food. It had been good as well, better than sitting in the room being alternately bored or annoyed with what was on television or thinking too much about past Christmases. Not that he could help the last one straying into his thoughts. It was, after all, the first Christmas Day that he'd not spent at least part of it at his Mum's. Even on the years where he'd been working, he'd still got there for a couple of hours in the evening.
This could be a new Christmas tradition for Tom and him, Andy decided. A nice hotel, no washing up or cooking to have to deal with. That was it, he told himself, they were starting something new together. It just felt strange because it was new. Change wasn't bad, it was just different. Whether putting a positive spin on it was a coping strategy or if it was just tricking himself, he wasn't sure, and perhaps in the end if he ended up feeling better about it then maybe it didn't matter which one it was.
“That were great,” Tom said when the film had finished. “All them knights and that. It's not like real ghosts, but it were still good. I should ask Alex if she can do that.”
“Be a knight?” Andy asked, wondering if he'd missed some part of what Tom had said. He knew his mind had been else where a lot over the last day or two, but he didn't think it had been wandering just then.
Tom stared at him for a moment, something like fear in his eyes as he said,“Yeah, that's what I meant. With swords and that.”
It obviously hadn't been what he'd meant, Andy was sure of that, but short of calling him a liar and asking him if he meant Alex was a witch who was able to call up ghosts into suits of armour, there really wasn't anything else to do but nod and agree. He'd seen stranger things, weevils with faces like a bad Halloween masks and claws like knives, part alien girls from the future with havoc casing remote controls, time displaced Roman Centurions and people in locked cells who'd choked to death on mysteriously appearing rose petals. He shook his head. It all seemed impossible and mad now. It was something from another life.
This was his life now. A small business owner with a home of his own, a financially secure future and a boyfriend who was more than he'd ever hoped for and who he'd come to love more than he'd thought possible. It was a good life. He just wished his family could have found it in their heart to continue to be a part of it.
“You alright?” Tom asked, putting an arm round him.
“Yeah,” Andy replied, surprised that he actually was. “Today could have been awful, but you made it...” The best ever didn't seem right given that they were only staying in the hotel because of his mother, nor did merely saying good, Tom had worked too hard, been too thoughtful for it to only be good. “Special.” Andy settled on and leant over to kiss him.
It was sods law that the moment you were really into getting into something the phone would ring, Andy thought irritably as he heard his mobile. They'll give up in a couple more rings he told himself, as he ran his hands down Tom's chest.
“You should answer it,” Tom said, breathless and earnest as he pulled his t-shirt back down. “You don't get many calls, so it's probably important.”
That really didn't make it any better, Andy decided as he got out of bed and retrieved his mobile from his coat pocket. “Hello,” Andy said, trying to fight the twist of nerves that was wrapping itself tight about his chest and throat. “Andy Davidson speaking.”
“I should hope so. I don't want to find out you've had your phone stolen on Christmas Day.”
“Simon?” Andy asked shocked that any of his family would be willingly calling him. “Has something happened? It's not Mum, is it or Great Auntie Jean?”
“No, nothing like that.”
Feeling almost shaky with relief, Andy sat down on the edge of the bed. He could see Tom watching him with concern, so he covered the mobile for a moment and said, “It's Simon. My brother.”
“Oh right.” Tom looked over at the door to the on-suite. “I'll go and have a shave or something, so you can talk. Well if you want to that is.”
Andy nodded, although he wasn't sure it was the right thing to do.
“Are you still there?” Simon asked when Andy uncovered the phone.
“Yeah,” Andy replied, still wondering why Simon would phone him and hoping that it wasn't because he wanted to have a go at him about Tom. “Why are you calling?”
“To say Happy Christmas, and because I hear congratulation are in order,” he answered. “It's not everyday that you find out your little brother has finally settled down.”
“Mum told you then?” Andy said dully, knowing that if she'd told Simon, both James and David would most likely know by now too. Well maybe not James, getting it out to where his ship was might take a while.
“Eventually,” Simon said not sounding too happy about it. “I realised something was up when she said you weren't going to be there for Christmas after all. So after I pointed out that there was no way she have managed to get the tree up by herself she told me.”
“I bet that was a fun conversation,” Andy said not bothering to hide the bitterness he felt.
There was a pause and then Simon said, “Probably better than whatever she directed at you and your partner.”
“His name's Tom,” Andy said, knowing that he was being rather more defensive than perhaps he needed to be with Simon.
There was another pause, then Simon said, “Rachel said I should call and find out where you and Tom were. Have you gone back home yet?”
“No, we're at hotel in Cardiff, I couldn't face Christmas Eve traffic twice in one day,” Andy said, finding it easier to lie than tell him he'd been so close to falling apart that he was scared he crash. “We're going home tomorrow.”
“You can come past Pontyclun on the way back if you want. Rachel said you should come round for Boxing Day dinner.”
“And what did you say?” Andy asked, still unable to believe that after so many years of keeping this part of his life secret from him family that at least one of them was so accept. It made him wish in a way that he'd told Simon years ago. If he had perhaps his Mum would have got use to the idea by now.
“I said it was a great idea and probably better than my one, which was us all driving up to your place for a surprise visit.” He laughed. “I don't think I'd have heard the last of it if I'd driven all the way out there and found you weren't in.”
“I don't think getting your car stuck half way up a farm track would have gone too well either,” Andy said, wondering if Simon still drove the old estate car that he'd had for years.
“Knowing my luck with cars I'd have called the RAC and they'd have ended up getting stuck as well.” He paused. “So are you coming tomorrow?”
“Is Tom invited too?” Andy asked, not wanting to take anything for granted just yet.
“Of course he is. You stood up to Mum about him,” he said sounding impressed. “Of course I want to meet him, because right now he's really sounding like a potential brother in law.”
Andy glanced toward the bathroom door and wonder if Tom could hear any of what they were saying. He'd not talked about anything like that with him, but now the idea had been put out there, he knew that it wouldn't be forgotten. “I think so,” Andy said eventually. “I hope so.”
“Well I've got to get the kids from Mum's now, before they're any more bored out of their minds than than they already are. So Happy Christmas to you and Tom, and we'll see you tomorrow at about twelve, if that's okay?”
“That's fine. See you tomorrow then,” Andy said, then added, “I've got some gift vouchers for Ben and Louise, I wasn't sure what they like any more.”
“They're teenagers,” Simon said, in a rather long suffering kind of tone. “I think it changes from week to week or possibly day to day. I lose track of half of it. I doesn't seem so long ago they wanted dolls and trains. Now it's this band or pop group or some computer game thing.”
“I suspect we were like that once,” Andy said. In some ways didn't seem that long ago really and in others it seem incredibly distant. He guessed for Simon it was even more so. “Right, well I'll see you tomorrow then.”
Tom emerged from the on-suite as soon as Andy had finished the call. “Everything okay then?” he asked sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Andy.
“Yeah.” Andy looked down at the phone. It all seemed too incredible. “Simon wants us to go round for lunch tomorrow, so you can meet them.”
“That's a good thing, right?” Tom asked, sounding like he was thinking hard about what to say.
“It is. After Mum...” Andy stopped and let out a slow breath. “After all that I didn't think any of them would want to talk to me.”
“I thought they would,” Tom said, moving so that they were shoulder to shoulder. “I thought they could be all that bad really, as you're part of their family and you're nice, so they probably have to have a bit of niceness too. Stand to reason that.”
Andy felt a smile tugging at his lips. Tom was so optimistic that it could carry you along with it sometimes.
“So what's Simon like then?” Tom asked.
“I suppose Simon was the one most like me,” Andy said, uncertain really whether it was true or if it was just the fact that Simon was the only one who'd really been around to talk to. “It's funny really, I don't know my other brothers that well at all. David was already at University when I born and didn't move back home afterwards, although he moved back to Cardiff in the end, about fifteen years ago now. James joined the Navy when he was seventeen. I was only three then, so I only saw him when he came back on leave. Simon though was there until I was eight and he came back after he finished university and lived with Mum and Dad until he'd finished his teacher training.”
Tom listened, a small frown on his face that Andy recognised meant that he was thinking hard about something. “I'd always thought of families bein' together all the time you know. I mean, when I didn't have one, I always thought how good it'd be.”
“There were good times,” Andy said. There had been too, a lot of them. Birthdays, holidays, weekends down at the beach, football and rugby in the park, his brothers' weddings, the party they'd had for Great Gran on her ninetieth.
“Yeah, I just mean having other kids around,” Tom said, looking down at the floor. “It were just with no family and not goin' to school, I never really had...” He stopped. “It don't matter now. It's Christmas an' we're together, so we'd better make the most of it if we're goin' to be out tomorrow.”
Although he would have liked to have known what Tom was going to say, Andy didn't want to make him miserable, not when Tom had worked so hard to cheer him up. “Definitely,” Andy replied as he kissed him.
“I don't 'spose you could you turn your phone off?” Tom asked, shifting slightly on the bed. “Only I don't want to have to wait again. It's getting a bit uncomfortable.”
“Oh, right, yes.” Andy hurriedly switched off his phone. “Now where were we?”
* * *
The snow was thicker outside of Cardiff and away from the coast. The main roads had all been gritted, but it made Andy wonder just how much snow there would be waiting for them when they got back to the farm. There were times when he complained about how much fuel the landrover needed, but in weather like this there was a certain smug satisfaction to be had knowing that you could still get places most peoples cars couldn't.
Not that getting to Simon's house was difficult, all main roads until you turned off into a modern cul-de-sac of houses. The old estate car parked out front, the swing and slide had gone though replaced by some decking and a patio set, the umbrella sagging under the weight of the snow.
Simon, a little greyer and with middle age spread rather more noticeable than when Andy had seen him last, opened the door. “Come on in. I'd wondered if you be a bit late what with the snow,” he said moving so that Andy could get inside and out of the cold. “How were the roads?” Simon asked, then noticing the landrover added, “Although nothing short of the next Ice Age looks like it would stop that.”
“Not too bad,” Andy replied, hanging up his coat. “I think everybody was trying to get into Cardiff f
for the sales rather than out.”
“Ah yes,” Simon said amused. “The yearly mad push and shove to buy slightly cheaper things that you didn't really need in the first place. Honestly, putting together the maths homework for my class for next term has end up being more appealing than the sales.”
Turning to Tom, Simon said, “You must be Tom.” He held out his hand. “It's nice to meet you. I don't know what Andy's said about me or the family, but we aren't that bad really.”
Tom shook his hand. “He were nice about you, and it seems like he were right. So it's nice to meet you too.”
Andy felt the knot of worry in his chest loosen a little, relieved that Simon was as positive about his relationship with Tom as he'd seemed on the phone. It made his Mum's reaction feel all the worse. The openness and warmth here was what he'd wanted back in Cardiff. That he'd probably never get it, not after everything that had happened, hurt.
“I know that look,” Simon said. “You're worrying about something.”
“I was just thinking about mum,” Andy replied wondering if he should have pretended he was just thinking about the weather and how much snow there would be in the Elen Valley.
Simon sighed. “Mum's not exactly my favourite person right now. First what she said to Rach about her job, and now this with you.” He shook his head. “I know it's probably a generational thing, but you've have thought she could have at least learnt a bit of tact in seventy odd years.”
“This is Mum,” Andy said, almost finding it funny. “You remember the business about Uncle Evan's tattoo or even Aunt Jean hat at David's wedding. I don't think she knows the meaning of the word.”
Simon laughed “I've not thought about the hat in years. It really did look like a squashed parrot, but I don't think many people would have said it loud enough for the whole reception to hear.” The smile faded. “She might come round to you being gay eventually.”
Andy sighed and shook his head. He didn't want to get into a conversation about how he wasn't actually gay. It was hard enough people getting their heads around you liking the same sex, never mind that you could actually like both without being some kind of promiscuous sex addict. “I don't it will happen,” he said eventually. “And I'm not going to wait for it to before I live my life.”
“No one would expect you to, at least they shouldn't,” Simon said. “Now, you want to come through to the front room, and I'll go get the kettle on in a minute.”
“Well he's not quite what I imagined,” Simon said once they were in the front room, as he looked at Tom, who was talking to Ben about the film he'd just put on.
“No,” Andy said carefully, worried suddenly where Simon was going with this.
“He's a lot shorter and younger than I thought you'd have gone for, well based on your old girlfriends at least.”
“He seems nice to me,” Rachel said coming over to them. “So, will we be getting a wedding invitation or is it too soon for that?”
Andy looked at Tom. He'd not really thought about it. They were happy as they were, they didn't need a bit of paper to say that. “A bit soon,” he replied a little self-consciously. “We've only been together for four months.”
“So how did you meet him?” Louise asked, apparently able to carry on a separate conversation while texting.
“Lou, really,” Simon said sounding rather exasperated like this was the sort of thing that Louise did all the time. He looked at Tom who had obviously heard and then back at Andy. “You really don't have to answer that.”
“Nah, it's alright, it's nothin' dodgy,” Tom said. “I were looking for somewhere to camp and stopped to ask for directions, and then Andy fell through the roof and I had to get him out. And then we just sort of started living together. That's it really.”
“That's so romantic,” Louise exclaimed, actually stopping texting for a moment and smiling at them. “It's so much cooler than meeting at work or at the bus stop or something like that.”
Baffled at what teenagers found cool, but relieved by her acceptance, Andy decided if Louise was in any way representative of the youth of today then perhaps the future would be a more accepting place.
“You fell through a roof?” Simon asked, sounding like he couldn't decide whether to be worried or amused. “Now that I didn't hear about.”
“I didn't tell anyone,” Andy said, feeling like he had to defend his decision. “I wasn't hurt, what was the point of making Mum or any of you worry?”
“I suppose there's that. She would have wanted you to leave the farm she'd known. She does worry about you, even if she has a funny way of showing it.”
“Jus' as well you didn't tell her about the cow shed then,” Tom said, then gave Andy an apologetic look, although whether it was for mentioning it, mentioning his mum or both Andy wasn't sure.
Simon looked at them both and then said, “Do I want to know?”
“It was just a small accident,” Andy said quickly, hoping that would be the end of it.
Tom gave him a disbelieving look and then said, “You broke your ribs. I wouldn't call that nothin'.”
“It was months ago, I'm fine. Really,” Andy said, feeling more than a little uncomfortable that everybody was looking at him now. “I'm sure nobody wants to hear about it.”
Simon at least seemed to take the hint and said, “Right then, I'll make some tea.” He looked at Andy. “You can give me a hand if you like.”
Although posed as a suggestion, Andy knew Simon well enough to know that meant ' I want to ask, you something in private.' “Okay,” he replied, hoping that things weren't about to start falling apart or that he was about to get some bad news.
Rachel seemed to get what Simon meant too, and said, “Well I'll want the kitchen back in a few minutes as the food is nearly done, so don't make too much of a mess.”
Simon gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “When do I ever make a mess?”
Rachel laughed. “You really want me to answer that?” Go on. I'll have a coffee.”
“Are you okay, really I mean?” Simon asked, once he and Andy were away from everybody else. “You were always saying you were fine as a kid, even when you weren't. You never wanted to worry anyone. Only I heard some stuff from Mum about last year, about you leaving the police. I know she's not the most sympathetic of people, but she was worried about you in her way, so I'm guessing it was pretty bad.” He stopped, looking uncertain if he should say more before finally continuing, “Look you probably don't want me to go on about it, but if you ever need anything, anyone to talk to, you call and I'll come and do the big brother bit, okay?”
Andy nodded. It had been hard enough talking about it to Tom, when he knew he could fall apart for a while, having Tom there, its made a difference, a big difference.
“I'm happy you've got someone, but family is still family, and if anything happens, I mean, if things don't work out...”
“Don't.” Andy glared at him, wondering if Simon was going to start into some spiel about how relationships like his and Tom's wouldn't last.
“I don't mean because he's a man,” Simon said holding up a hand, trying to defuse a situation before it began. “But he is a lot younger than you and you said yourself that you've only been together for a few months. He's what nineteen? twenty? At that age you've barely worked out anything about your life, let alone who you want to be with for the rest of it.”
“He's twenty two. The same age Mum was when she married Dad,” Andy said, hating the doubts that Simon had planted in his mind. “And he's probably more grown up than anybody else that age I know. He's had it so hard, you wouldn't believe it how much he's lost or what he's not had in the first place. He's got nobody else. No family at all.”
“Dependency isn't the best base for a relationship,” Simon pointed out.
“He's not dependent on me or anybody,” Andy said, knowing that it was the truth. If Tom wanted he could get up and go one day and be completely fine. He swallowed hard, not wanting to think about it. Because while Tom might be fine he knew with a level of certainty that terrified him that he wouldn't be. Tom was as central to his life as the farm and the peace and quiet of the Elan Valley where he'd started to put his life back together. Perhaps even more so, as while he could, if he tried, imagine living somewhere else, he couldn't imagine doing it with out Tom there by his side.
Simon had a point though and it worried him. Tom was almost of a different generation than himself. He was closer in age to his niece and nephew than he was to him. Tom would only be in his early thirties when he hit middle aged. What if he didn't want to be stuck with an old bloke? What if they found themselves wanting different things in life? What if Tom didn't want to settle down? What if... Stop it. Stop winding yourself up right now, Andy told himself. Tom was different and it wasn't a generational thing, it was a Tom thing. Tom was like nobody else he'd ever known, although sometimes his unwavering enthusiasm and certainty that things would go right in the end reminded him of how Gwen had been before Torchwood had wormed its way into their lives.
“Hey,” Simon said, trying to get his attention. “I'm not trying ruin things. I hope you make a go of it and prove Mum wrong, and that I can give an embarrassing speech if you get married and that you get all you want out of life together. But if you don't, for whatever reason, I just want you to know you're no where near as alone as you think you are.”
Andy nodded, torn between being grateful and not wanting to think about a situation where he no longer had Tom to turn to for support.
“I'll go Rach know the kitchen is free again, before I say something stupid,” Simon said, before going through to the kitchen.
“You've got a funny look on,” Tom said, when Andy went back into the front room. “Nothin' wrong, is it?”
“No.” Andy made the effort to smile and shook his head. “I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you.”
“Right, food is almost ready,” Rachel said, a few minutes later, taking off the novelty Christmas apron with its googly eyed reindeer. “I've put some of it out on the table, if you all want go and sit down. And Lou, no texting at the table.”
“Have you invited the whole street?” Simon said, looking at the table.
“No, but I didn't want us to run out. Anyway you can save extras and turn it into other stuff,” Rachel said, putting the dishes onto the table so that everybody could help themselves. “It only when you don't have enough it's a problem.”
“That's right clever that,” Tom said, going through and sitting down. “Me Dad used to say things like that.”
Andy looked at his brother and family and Tom all sitting down to dinner together. It was more than he had hoped would have ever happened. Perhaps in time, he hoped, the rest of his family would come to accept him and Tom as well.
part 26 http://the-silver-sun.livejournal.com/227221.html
A/N
Bedknobs and Broomsticks is a kids film about two WW2 evacuees who end up staying with a wannabe witch and end up saving the UK from invasion by getting a load of ghosts of knights/Roman soldiers to help them. It seems to be on around Christmas time most years, rather like The Sound of Music and The Great Escape.
no subject
Date: 2014-02-02 07:47 pm (UTC)“I don't 'spose you could you turn your phone off?” Tom asked, shifting slightly on the bed. “Only I don't want to have to wait again. It's getting a bit uncomfortable.”
*SNORT*
Lovely to see another chapter. Thanks!