Fic: Goodbye 1/2

[silver_sun]

Originally posted 19/12/2006

Title: Goodbye 1/2 
Writer: [Bad username or unknown identity:  ]
Pairing: Ianto/Jack
Rating: PG13 
Spoilers: Slightly for Cyberwoman,  also for a certain well known picture said to be from episode 13.
Think that just about covers it.  Is now AU

Here I am, held so close against him, his lips warm and soft on my own, his hand caressing the side of my face. I pull him closer to me, our bodies moulded against one another.

 

 I don’t want this kiss to ever end, because when it does he will be going out to face what’s coming, that nameless horror that has had him starting at shadows for days now.

 

I know deep down that when he leaves he will probably never be coming back, that this kiss is goodbye. He doesn’t expect to live through this, whatever he says.

 

Tears are stinging my eyes, rolling down to run over both our faces, into our mouths.

 

Jack pulls back from the kiss as he tastes them.

 

 “Ianto,” his voice is sad as he brushes the tears away with his thumb.

 

All it does though is make the tears flow harder than before. I cannot go through this again, the emptiness, the grief. I feel broken inside already, and he isn’t even gone yet.

 

“Don’t cry,” he moves to hold my face in his hands.

 

“I cannot lose you, I cannot bury…” my voice fails me, and I think that I might just fall down if he doesn’t keep on holding me.

 

“You wont,” he’s kissing away the tears. “I will never leave you,” he breaks the stream of kisses for a moment to give me one of his amazing smiles. How dark will life be never to see that smile again? 

 

“What Jack Harkness wants Jack Harkness gets, and right now what he wants is an incredibly hot young Welshman called Ianto Jones, and nothing, not even a trans-dimensional rift is going to stop him,”

 

I want to believe him, to believe in the impossible, but if life has taught me anything, it’s that good things never last, and that fate seems to have decided that I don’t get a chance at happiness.

 

 I know that I have started to shake, and I can see the concern in Jacks eyes as he almost carries me over to the small sofa, sitting me down, crouching in front of me, his hands warm and solid, covering my own.

 

“This is not goodbye.” He sounds so certain.  

 

An alarm sounds from somewhere, and then he is gone, coat flapping behind him as he hurries down the steps, and into the hub. 

 

I could follow him, but there is nothing that I can do, and I cannot bear to watch him die.

 

Formating tweaked 7/1/07