Fic: Caught on the Tides of Life (2/3)
Jul. 10th, 2025 08:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silver_sunTitle: Caught on the Tides of Life.
Chapters: 2/3
Fandom: Heroes (2022) ("Shuo Ying Xiong Shei Shi Ying Xiong" (说英雄谁是英雄))
Rating: general
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Di Feijing & Lei Chun, Di Feijing and Qi Shaoshang
Characters: Di Feijing, Qi Shaoshang and Wang Xiaoshi (breifly) Lei Chun mentioned a lot (Di Feijing misses his sister)
Additional Tags: Canon diverent AU - for Di Feijing at least, hurt/comfort,
Part 1 here
It takes two more days for Di Feijing to recover sufficiently to be able to stay awake long enough to do much more than eat and drink. Not that he feels well yet or even particularly well rested despite having been barely been awake. The breathlessness is easing however, and despite the initial pain and blood loss, the wound troubles him far less than his neck had when that had first been injured.
For the most part his sleep has been dreamless or at least has nothing he can remember on waking. Twice though he has woken to dreams to vivid to ignore.
The first time he hadn't woken Qi Shaoshang, whose bed is on the opposite side of the room they are sharing. Only fragments of the nightmare remained once he had startled awake, just the vague and fading impression of something with too much blood and death.
He's seen a lot of both of those. Been the cause of it too. He doubts anyone in the Jianghu has gone through life without experiencing such dreams on occasion either.
He lays awake for a while listening to the sound of the wind and rain outside, the inn quite in the early hours of the morning, before sleeping again.
The second time his rest is interrupted by unsettling an dream it is Qi Shaoshang who wakes him from it.
The dream itself isn't bloody or disturbing in the way the other had been. There is no obvious source of danger in it, but he runs breathless, frantic, through snow and ice, the bitter cold stinging his skin.
Through the swirling flakes he sees Chun-er, but he cannot reach her. He cannot seem to make her hear him. She seems just as frantic as he is, searching, stumbling through the storm.
Every he gets even a little closer the snow swirls thicker and faster and no matter what he does he can't reach her. He calls out to her, trying to make her hear over the howling winds, trying to let her know she isn't alone.
Finally she vanishes, lost behind an impenetrable swirl of snow and ice, as all he can do is shout her name into the storm.
Her name is still on his lips, his cries for her extending from the dream into reality, as Qi Shaoshang wakes him.
Shaking, not quite able to catch his breath, Di Feijing looks at him, eyes still stinging from the imaginary ice storm. Or maybe he's crying. Caught in the moment between sleep and waking he has no idea.
Although he doesn't need the assistance as much as before, Qi Shaoshang still helps him to sit up. Sitting beside him on the bed, he asks, “Who is Chun-er?"
"Sister. She's my sister" Di Feijing replies, breathless, half gasping around his words. She isn't in danger, at least not in the way the dream showed, but he can't fear that's wrapped tight around his chest. Hunching forwards, he closes his eyes, arms wrapped about himself trying to still the tremors running through him.
"Do you need her to come here?"
"No!” He can't do that to her. He can't let her see him like this. She sent him away to be safe. Not to go and get himself half killed. “She can't. She can't.”
“Alright.” Qi Shaoshang doesn't push for any further clarification as to why, trying not to add to his obvious distress.
Di Feijing barely hears him. His ears are ringing, his heart beating too fast, both from the stress of the nightmare and from trying to compensate for the still too low blood volume.
It isn't real. It isn't real. Yet he cannot reassure himself that she is safe. How can he, when there is absolutely no certainty of it? The dream might not be real the but the fears are. And wasn't that what nightmares were? The fears and regrets that haunted waking life given frightening form in sleep.
Yet it had been so real. Even if the dream hadn't made any kind of sense. He feels impossibly shaken by it, the utter helplessness of it, like hands around his throat.
But isn't he helpless? It's he powerless right now? Isn't he-
A warm blanket is pulled up around his shoulders and held there, as Qi Shaoshang says, “You don't want to catch a chill.”
Di Feijing can feel the weight and warmth of Qi Shaoshang's arm keeping the blanket in place. It's comfort that he hadn't thought of needing, and it's certainly nothing he would ask for.
He can't speak. Can't ask him to keep it there. Can't even thank him or apologise. If tears weren't falling before, he's all but certain they are now.
Qi Shaoshang doesn't question him further either about the nature of the dream or about Chun-er. He sits with him, his arm about him offering him quiet, undemanding support, until finally Di Feijing can sleep again.
--
Morning comes and while Di Feijing still feels exhausted from the combination of disturbed sleep and the continued slow recovery from substantial blood loss, he finds he can't bear to lay in bed any longer.
At his request a bath is brought to the room. He's shaky on his feet after almost a week in bed, than he expected to be, but it's a relief to be able to get up and bathe without assistance. It isn't that he dislikes Qi Shaoshang's presence, the opposite really, but after the previous night he needs time alone to gather his thoughts and see the extent of the injury that also cost him his life.
The bandage that had been over it gone now, leaving the scar on his chest visible. A pink, jagged thing scraped over his ribs before cutting in deeper beneath them. It's raised and startling in its freshness, but it no longer bleeds or threaten to split open and most of the pain has dissipated.
The fever that had wracked him in the first few days at the inn hadn't been from the wound, rather it had be due to falling ill from having been collapsed in the snow. Which, all things considered, was the better option. A fever as a result of catching a bad chill was far more survivable that wound that had gone sceptic.
The scar is a reminder of the past. Because it is all in the past. He is healing. He's going to live.
While that has been apparent since he's woken up, he hasn't had the energy to give it any real thought. No, he's not made plans for this. Removing Fang Yingkan from the world was supposed to be his final act, the last thing that he could do for the Lei family, and Lei Chun in particulr. There wasn't supposed to be an after for him.
Shivering, despite the warmth of the water, Di Feijing sinks into it as much as he can.
What is he supposed to do now? What can he do? He can't return home, can't risk contact them while the Youqiao Group still operate, because he can't implicate Chun-er or Six Half Hall in Fang Yingkan's death. He can't even reassure her that the man who attacked her is dead, because she had never told him what had happened that night.
The water cools slowly and still no answers are to be found. None at least apart from wait, recover, listen for news and maybe someday find some way in which to help.
---
Another day passes and Di Feijing feels just about strong enough to leave his bed properly, and take his meals downstairs in the inn with Qi Shaoshang.
There is food on the table, a few simple dishes. The inn is only a small one, whose main trade is with travellers and merchants, who are hungry enough by the time they reach it not to mind the limited fare. Not that Di Feijing minds. He doesn't have expensive tastes, nor does he feel hungry yet, but he know he'll recover faster if he eats well.
"Did Young Master Wang give you instructions on how long you were to stay with me?" Di Feijing asks. What the connection between Qi Shaoshang and Wang Xiaoshi is he doesn't know, not beyond the fact that he had one let Wang Xiaoshi go. Which suggests that Qi Shaoshang is or was some kind of guard, and that they must have parted on good enough terms that Wang Xiaoshi felt able to trust him to come and help.
Qi Shaoshang wait a moment before answering, before deciding the truth, told without any elaboration or softening, is the best option. "Until you recovered or until I could give you a proper burial."
It really had been that close. Di Feijing knows it, but it still sends a cold chill down his spine. If Wang Xiaoshi had been just a little later he might have frozen to death, or if it had been just a little warmer he might have bled out before the cold halted it.
Trying to push it from his mind he pours tea for them both. The pot feels unnaturally heavy, a sign his strength is far from recovered. He manages it without spilling any. It is enough. For now, he tells himself, that is enough.
"In that case I've detained you long enough. You will want to be be on your way soon," Di Feijing says passing the cup to him. He isn't a gregarious person by nature, but he is used to having people around him. Whether that was his family, or Lei Sun and his family who took him in or even those also in Six Half Hall.
Qi Shaoshang has, in the short time that he has known him, been a quiet and patient companion, and seemingly content to wait for Di Feijing to recover at his own pace, before he can be on his way. He will miss his presence, but he cannot ask him to remain now that his task is done.
Again there is a pause before Qi Shaoshang answers, the fact that Di Feijing's hand was shaking slightly as he'd poured the second cup, not having escaped his notice. He doesn't choose to mention it however, just nodding slightly in agreement that he will be on his way soon. “Once the weather clears in a day or two. Do you also plan to leave soon?”
While he can't stay at the inn forever, Di Feijing knows that he isn't up to travelling yet, especially not as it will be on foot, his horse and the few belongings he's taken with him from Six Half Hall lost in the attack on Fang Yingkan and his men. “I will stay here a little longer,” he replies, committing himself to nothing. Not that he's hiding any plans from him – he hasn't made any yet.
"In that case, are there any messages I can take for you?" Qi Shaoshang asks, still not pushing for any reason behind his choices, not offering any insight into where he himself will be going. “Or anyone who can come to you?”
Di Feijing considers it for a moment, but without knowing the situation back in the capital he cannot do anything that would risk Lei Chun or Six Half Hall. Even if none of Fang Yingkan's men survived and reported back, it would not be difficult for the Youqiao Group to connect Yingkan's death and Di Feijing's presence in the same area together. No, for now he needs to be as much of a ghost as if he had died beneath those snowy trees.
It feels ungrateful however to entirely dismiss Qi Shaoshang's offer, so he says, "If you meet Wang Xiaoshi again you can tell him I survived. I think he would like to know."
A nod, then a question. "No more than that? Do you have no plans to return to Six Half Hall?"
It's his home, has been since childhood, he lived there longer than anywhere else. It's been a place of shelter, of belonging. The place he grew to adulthood and made his place in the world. But he cannot return there, not as things are now and maybe never again. Pushing down the longing for those familiar halls and faces as best he can, Di Feijing wishes he could stop the ache that every thought of it brings to his chest. All that shows outwardly is a slightly melancholy little smile, meant to put those who saw it at ease. "It would be unwise."
Whether Qi Shaoshang understands his reasoning behind why he cannot return there or if he simply doesn't want to push him into talking about it, he doesn't ask again. They let their conversation turn to travel and food, and weather and inns that they have stayed at. It's just the undemanding, uncomplicated the talk of two fellow travellers on the road.
TBC.
Chapters: 2/3
Fandom: Heroes (2022) ("Shuo Ying Xiong Shei Shi Ying Xiong" (说英雄谁是英雄))
Rating: general
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Di Feijing & Lei Chun, Di Feijing and Qi Shaoshang
Characters: Di Feijing, Qi Shaoshang and Wang Xiaoshi (breifly) Lei Chun mentioned a lot (Di Feijing misses his sister)
Additional Tags: Canon diverent AU - for Di Feijing at least, hurt/comfort,
Part 1 here
It takes two more days for Di Feijing to recover sufficiently to be able to stay awake long enough to do much more than eat and drink. Not that he feels well yet or even particularly well rested despite having been barely been awake. The breathlessness is easing however, and despite the initial pain and blood loss, the wound troubles him far less than his neck had when that had first been injured.
For the most part his sleep has been dreamless or at least has nothing he can remember on waking. Twice though he has woken to dreams to vivid to ignore.
The first time he hadn't woken Qi Shaoshang, whose bed is on the opposite side of the room they are sharing. Only fragments of the nightmare remained once he had startled awake, just the vague and fading impression of something with too much blood and death.
He's seen a lot of both of those. Been the cause of it too. He doubts anyone in the Jianghu has gone through life without experiencing such dreams on occasion either.
He lays awake for a while listening to the sound of the wind and rain outside, the inn quite in the early hours of the morning, before sleeping again.
The second time his rest is interrupted by unsettling an dream it is Qi Shaoshang who wakes him from it.
The dream itself isn't bloody or disturbing in the way the other had been. There is no obvious source of danger in it, but he runs breathless, frantic, through snow and ice, the bitter cold stinging his skin.
Through the swirling flakes he sees Chun-er, but he cannot reach her. He cannot seem to make her hear him. She seems just as frantic as he is, searching, stumbling through the storm.
Every he gets even a little closer the snow swirls thicker and faster and no matter what he does he can't reach her. He calls out to her, trying to make her hear over the howling winds, trying to let her know she isn't alone.
Finally she vanishes, lost behind an impenetrable swirl of snow and ice, as all he can do is shout her name into the storm.
Her name is still on his lips, his cries for her extending from the dream into reality, as Qi Shaoshang wakes him.
Shaking, not quite able to catch his breath, Di Feijing looks at him, eyes still stinging from the imaginary ice storm. Or maybe he's crying. Caught in the moment between sleep and waking he has no idea.
Although he doesn't need the assistance as much as before, Qi Shaoshang still helps him to sit up. Sitting beside him on the bed, he asks, “Who is Chun-er?"
"Sister. She's my sister" Di Feijing replies, breathless, half gasping around his words. She isn't in danger, at least not in the way the dream showed, but he can't fear that's wrapped tight around his chest. Hunching forwards, he closes his eyes, arms wrapped about himself trying to still the tremors running through him.
"Do you need her to come here?"
"No!” He can't do that to her. He can't let her see him like this. She sent him away to be safe. Not to go and get himself half killed. “She can't. She can't.”
“Alright.” Qi Shaoshang doesn't push for any further clarification as to why, trying not to add to his obvious distress.
Di Feijing barely hears him. His ears are ringing, his heart beating too fast, both from the stress of the nightmare and from trying to compensate for the still too low blood volume.
It isn't real. It isn't real. Yet he cannot reassure himself that she is safe. How can he, when there is absolutely no certainty of it? The dream might not be real the but the fears are. And wasn't that what nightmares were? The fears and regrets that haunted waking life given frightening form in sleep.
Yet it had been so real. Even if the dream hadn't made any kind of sense. He feels impossibly shaken by it, the utter helplessness of it, like hands around his throat.
But isn't he helpless? It's he powerless right now? Isn't he-
A warm blanket is pulled up around his shoulders and held there, as Qi Shaoshang says, “You don't want to catch a chill.”
Di Feijing can feel the weight and warmth of Qi Shaoshang's arm keeping the blanket in place. It's comfort that he hadn't thought of needing, and it's certainly nothing he would ask for.
He can't speak. Can't ask him to keep it there. Can't even thank him or apologise. If tears weren't falling before, he's all but certain they are now.
Qi Shaoshang doesn't question him further either about the nature of the dream or about Chun-er. He sits with him, his arm about him offering him quiet, undemanding support, until finally Di Feijing can sleep again.
--
Morning comes and while Di Feijing still feels exhausted from the combination of disturbed sleep and the continued slow recovery from substantial blood loss, he finds he can't bear to lay in bed any longer.
At his request a bath is brought to the room. He's shaky on his feet after almost a week in bed, than he expected to be, but it's a relief to be able to get up and bathe without assistance. It isn't that he dislikes Qi Shaoshang's presence, the opposite really, but after the previous night he needs time alone to gather his thoughts and see the extent of the injury that also cost him his life.
The bandage that had been over it gone now, leaving the scar on his chest visible. A pink, jagged thing scraped over his ribs before cutting in deeper beneath them. It's raised and startling in its freshness, but it no longer bleeds or threaten to split open and most of the pain has dissipated.
The fever that had wracked him in the first few days at the inn hadn't been from the wound, rather it had be due to falling ill from having been collapsed in the snow. Which, all things considered, was the better option. A fever as a result of catching a bad chill was far more survivable that wound that had gone sceptic.
The scar is a reminder of the past. Because it is all in the past. He is healing. He's going to live.
While that has been apparent since he's woken up, he hasn't had the energy to give it any real thought. No, he's not made plans for this. Removing Fang Yingkan from the world was supposed to be his final act, the last thing that he could do for the Lei family, and Lei Chun in particulr. There wasn't supposed to be an after for him.
Shivering, despite the warmth of the water, Di Feijing sinks into it as much as he can.
What is he supposed to do now? What can he do? He can't return home, can't risk contact them while the Youqiao Group still operate, because he can't implicate Chun-er or Six Half Hall in Fang Yingkan's death. He can't even reassure her that the man who attacked her is dead, because she had never told him what had happened that night.
The water cools slowly and still no answers are to be found. None at least apart from wait, recover, listen for news and maybe someday find some way in which to help.
---
Another day passes and Di Feijing feels just about strong enough to leave his bed properly, and take his meals downstairs in the inn with Qi Shaoshang.
There is food on the table, a few simple dishes. The inn is only a small one, whose main trade is with travellers and merchants, who are hungry enough by the time they reach it not to mind the limited fare. Not that Di Feijing minds. He doesn't have expensive tastes, nor does he feel hungry yet, but he know he'll recover faster if he eats well.
"Did Young Master Wang give you instructions on how long you were to stay with me?" Di Feijing asks. What the connection between Qi Shaoshang and Wang Xiaoshi is he doesn't know, not beyond the fact that he had one let Wang Xiaoshi go. Which suggests that Qi Shaoshang is or was some kind of guard, and that they must have parted on good enough terms that Wang Xiaoshi felt able to trust him to come and help.
Qi Shaoshang wait a moment before answering, before deciding the truth, told without any elaboration or softening, is the best option. "Until you recovered or until I could give you a proper burial."
It really had been that close. Di Feijing knows it, but it still sends a cold chill down his spine. If Wang Xiaoshi had been just a little later he might have frozen to death, or if it had been just a little warmer he might have bled out before the cold halted it.
Trying to push it from his mind he pours tea for them both. The pot feels unnaturally heavy, a sign his strength is far from recovered. He manages it without spilling any. It is enough. For now, he tells himself, that is enough.
"In that case I've detained you long enough. You will want to be be on your way soon," Di Feijing says passing the cup to him. He isn't a gregarious person by nature, but he is used to having people around him. Whether that was his family, or Lei Sun and his family who took him in or even those also in Six Half Hall.
Qi Shaoshang has, in the short time that he has known him, been a quiet and patient companion, and seemingly content to wait for Di Feijing to recover at his own pace, before he can be on his way. He will miss his presence, but he cannot ask him to remain now that his task is done.
Again there is a pause before Qi Shaoshang answers, the fact that Di Feijing's hand was shaking slightly as he'd poured the second cup, not having escaped his notice. He doesn't choose to mention it however, just nodding slightly in agreement that he will be on his way soon. “Once the weather clears in a day or two. Do you also plan to leave soon?”
While he can't stay at the inn forever, Di Feijing knows that he isn't up to travelling yet, especially not as it will be on foot, his horse and the few belongings he's taken with him from Six Half Hall lost in the attack on Fang Yingkan and his men. “I will stay here a little longer,” he replies, committing himself to nothing. Not that he's hiding any plans from him – he hasn't made any yet.
"In that case, are there any messages I can take for you?" Qi Shaoshang asks, still not pushing for any reason behind his choices, not offering any insight into where he himself will be going. “Or anyone who can come to you?”
Di Feijing considers it for a moment, but without knowing the situation back in the capital he cannot do anything that would risk Lei Chun or Six Half Hall. Even if none of Fang Yingkan's men survived and reported back, it would not be difficult for the Youqiao Group to connect Yingkan's death and Di Feijing's presence in the same area together. No, for now he needs to be as much of a ghost as if he had died beneath those snowy trees.
It feels ungrateful however to entirely dismiss Qi Shaoshang's offer, so he says, "If you meet Wang Xiaoshi again you can tell him I survived. I think he would like to know."
A nod, then a question. "No more than that? Do you have no plans to return to Six Half Hall?"
It's his home, has been since childhood, he lived there longer than anywhere else. It's been a place of shelter, of belonging. The place he grew to adulthood and made his place in the world. But he cannot return there, not as things are now and maybe never again. Pushing down the longing for those familiar halls and faces as best he can, Di Feijing wishes he could stop the ache that every thought of it brings to his chest. All that shows outwardly is a slightly melancholy little smile, meant to put those who saw it at ease. "It would be unwise."
Whether Qi Shaoshang understands his reasoning behind why he cannot return there or if he simply doesn't want to push him into talking about it, he doesn't ask again. They let their conversation turn to travel and food, and weather and inns that they have stayed at. It's just the undemanding, uncomplicated the talk of two fellow travellers on the road.
TBC.