A mind full of worlds

Just a little bit of the wip big bang songxiao fic. (posted as part of a wip meme on tumblr)

.....

“Here is a good place,” Xingchen replies. “She can rest here, her husband beside her. We can give them that at least.”

“You killed the yaogui,” Song Lan says, hoping that there might be some comfort to be found in that fact. “They will know their deaths did not go unnoticed or unmourned.”

“Us.” Xingchen turns to him. “It was us. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Despite his sadness at what has happened there is still so much warmth in how Xingchen looks at him and in how he speaks to him that Song Lan cannot help but feel moved by it. To be there beside one another, to be there for each other in whatever way they might need is something that he wants more than anything else. He hopes that Xingchen somehow knows that he feels this way, because as sure as he is of his own feelings in this, he is also certain that he has no hope of telling it to him in a way that makes any sense or isn’t profoundly awkward for them both. “Nor I,” he says, then regrets it. It sounds strange, both not enough and too much all at the same time. “Together." He tries again. “We are at our best together.”

Xingchen doesn’t reply, but he moves closer, until their shoulders are almost touching. The blustery autumn wind still gusts about them, first from one direction and then from another. There is some protection from it now though, whichever way it blows one of them shields the other.

It feels right.

It’s not something Song Lan can put into words and for once he doesn’t mind. Sometimes all that is needed is just to be there, to be each other’s shelter in the storms of life.


....