A mind full of worlds

Okay didn’t expect to be typing up some random Lan Xichen meta type stuff this evening on my phone, but here I am writing about lxc trying to stay calm and do the right thing when everything around him is falling apart.

Sort of prompted by screencap showing where when things were going wrong - such as in Guanyin temple, LXC just sits down and meditates, like he is just so chill about it all. And a few people were saying that it was odd or silly or useless.
( Basically he's going ‘things are awful, but I can’t panic about it, I’m not allowed to panic about it, because if I do that will make it worse and I need to make this better somehow’ )

I really don't post here as often as I should, but here we are - an entire 84k long complete bigbang fic - all written since I last logged in and posted here. 


Finding Our Own Ways Forward (84250 words) by silver_sun
Chapters: 21/21
Fandom: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín & Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén
Characters: Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín, Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Niè Huáisāng
Additional Tags: Post canon, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén/Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo, Panic Attacks, Poisoning, Stabbing, Nightmares, Revenge, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín, Hurt Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, suicide of non canon character as part of plot, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Blood and Injury, life changing injury/illness, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Friendship, Pre-XiCheng, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Hopeful Ending, Alcohol, difficulty eating properly due to having been poisoned, Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn Reconciliation, Sickfic, Sick Character, Twin Jades Feels, Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín Needs a Hug, Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén Needs a Hug
Summary:

Post seclusion, Lan Xichen continues to struggle with grief and guilt over Jin Guangyao’s actions and how much blame should be attached to himself. He has become more adept at hiding the extent of it, of living everyday with what feels like a crushing weight on his chest.

The four years following the revelation about his golden core and the events at the Guanyin Temple have been awful. Jiang Cheng’s reputation as short tempered and unreasonably angry have intensified, to the point that many seem to think that qi deviation is something that probably lies in his not too distant future.

A poisoning at a discussion conference finally brings things to a head, forcing them both to confront parts of their thoughts and lives that they have tried to avoid.

 

Please take note of warning in tags and in the authors note at the start of the story.

Story here on ao3